Writings and Musings of Paul West

Platform?

2012-01-19T12:03:00.000-07:00

Everywhere I look on-line I read that an author needs a platform if he/she expects an agent or publisher to accept the writer or the work.

Now, I can see that if you have a published work to tout. A platform helps get the book the publicity it needs to be successful. The internet makes that relatively easy. If you have a ready-made platform, all your "friends" on FaceBook and elsewhere have supposedly been following you and should be anxious to see your book.

But what if you don't have a book to tout yet?

I've been struggling with that issue a lot lately. I have two books, one of which is probably ready for publication. But, without a platform is an agent/publisher willing to accept me or my book for publication? But how can I get a platform if I have nothing published yet?

Maybe someone can help me here. It seems like a dilemma to me.

I Need a Better Title

2012-01-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

I got a message from a fellow writer today telling me she thought I should change the title of my first novel, "An Urge to Kill." She said: "In this killing world, many parent's may not agree with your title and you may be turning off some publishers."

Now, I think I have to agree with her. My only problem with that is I totally suck when it comes to creating titles. She gave me some suggestions: "The Merciless Bridge? Or maybe, Mark's Verdict? Or The Jeering Bridge? Or The Taunting Bridge? Or The Bridge of Ridicule? After all, this bridge keeps taunting Mark right?"

To me, none of those ideas capture the essence of my novel. Neither does "An Urge to Kill," for that matter. She said she likes my original title. But I'm not even sure I can remember what that was - I've given it so many titles over the past few years. Maybe she means "Bridge to Destiny," or "Sweet Revenge," or "The Bridge Beckons." Probably not "Sweet Revenge." That sounds too violent too.

Problem is, I've used all of them at one time or another to query agents. Would agents still remember them and think my novel is still that same piece of pulp that they rejected several years ago? I've made many changes to the novel. It's grown, matured if you will, thanks to my great critique partners at "Writer's Pen" in the "Authors by Design" writer's on-line forum. Maybe it's time to try out one of the old titles again. One that better suits the essence of the novel without giving away the plot.

Back to Work

2012-01-04T15:34:00.000-07:00

Now that Christmas and New Years are behind me, I think it's time to get back to novel writing. I have been working to make my first novel (now titled "An Urge to Kill") fit with my critique partner's suggestions. They suggested I cut out the first 3 or 4 chapters, beginning with my MC starting his first day in a new school, not remembering the accident that took his family's lives. He starts off offending the school's bully/screw-up and life continues to get worse as he begins remembering bits and pieces of the accident until he realizes it was caused by some driver who cut his family off, sending them veering into a gasoline tanker truck. He then vows to kill the person who caused his grief if he can find out who he is.

In my old version, I built up to the accident, showing the MC upset at his parents and sister because he wanted to spend Christmas Even with his friends and get a date with a girl he'd had a crush on for over a year. Then a speeding driver cuts them off.... When he wakes up in the hospital he doesn't remember the accident. Then at the funeral he vows to kill the person who caused it if he can find out who he is.

These versions are pretty much the same from when the MC starts school. I'm really struggling to decide which version I like best. Which one I should try to market.

Another Family Blessing

2011-10-14T09:18:00.001-06:00

I realize I'm a bit late with this. I haven't been on my blog site for several weeks. On September 1st, we had another wonderful blessing. Xander Stoddard was born to my beautiful daughter, Kristen and her husband Nate. We are excited with this newest addition. Isn't he cute?

... and so is Mama!

Welcome to our family Xander

2011-10-13T08:41:00.000-06:00

I was just looking at some pictures I have of Port Costa and Crockett taken back in the 1960s and 1950s. Boy, I sure miss those days. I was only a kid, and probably didn't realize all the problems we had back then, but I can't believe they were any worse than what we're going through now. Yes, we had Nikita Kruschev threatening to bury us and threatening nuclear war, and Fidel Castro rattling his saber as a puppet of the Soviet Union. But those were external threats, things we could deal with. But today's threats are internal, Obama pretending to be a conservative while actually being a fascist, openly wishing he could be a dictator. His advisers secretly being communists and plotting the overthrow of our government.

I sat this morning looking at some pictures of a train taking on passengers at Crockett in 1956, thinking times were so much simpler in those days. No EPA, no OSHA, no frivolous law suits, and we got along just fine without them. In those days, some of us thought John Kennedy was a communist in disguise, but by today's standards he would be considered a conservative -- a Republican, or at least a blue-dog Democrat.

I can remember riding my bike along the railroad tracks between Port Costa and Crockett. I loved it when a train pulled by an articulated mallet steam engine would chug past me. I had to cover my ears it was so loud, and the ground would shake as it passed by, but the feeling of power fascinated me. I can still hear them.

Then, I would ride my bike to visit some friends, or ride past that special girl's house I had a crush on. I loved hiking in the hills, pretending to look for Black Bart's hidden loot (he was supposed to have buried it somewhere in the Port Costa hills but no one has found it yet). I miss those days. Maybe that's why I love to write. I don't know if my writing will ever sell, but I love passing my old dreams and reminiscences on to today's generation -- dreams and reminiscences of a simpler, more innocent, time.

Socialism

2011-07-05T10:55:00.007-06:00

What is it about Socialism/Communism that liberals and progressives like? In the words of Winston Churchill:

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance,and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

Winston Churchill

Twin Boys

2011-06-26T09:34:00.004-06:00

Here are some photos of the twins born last Thursday.

This one is Seth West (I don't know their middle names yet).

And this one is Simeon West

More baby news.

2011-06-24T11:13:00.002-06:00

My son's wife just gave birth to twins yesterday, Seth and Simeon. They're very small, a little over 4 pounds each. They will need to stay in the NICU for a few days, but they look healthy and well.

We are so proud of Mike and Mimi for all they went through to have these babies, and excited to have two more grandchildren. That makes nine now, 6 boys and 3 girls, with two more on the way. Wow, could you say this has been a very productive year???

Going for it Again

2011-06-07T16:51:00.003-06:00

Yes, folks (all 1 or 2 of you), I'm going to start querying again. I figured out, after a lot of rejections from agents, that my #1 WIP is going nowhere. I think my critique group was being nice to me to tell me they all liked it.

After getting nowhere, I decided to let them take a second and even more critical look at it. Based on their comments I cut out the first 4 chapters. Now looking back, I don't think that hurt my novel at all, and may even helped. I was concerned, however, that a lot of the tragic events I had portrayed in Chapter 1 would be lost, as the book is based on those events. But I found a way to insert bits and pieces of that chapter in the form of flashbacks as the main character (Mark) remembers his family's tragedy.

So now, I've totally revised my #1 WIP and even gave it a new catchy title -- An Urge to Kill. Does that grab at you? I hope it grabs an agent and publisher.

I also have a better looking query letter that did garner a few positive responses before I gave up the hunt. Oh, and those positive responses all died an ugly death and were given a proper burial.

Well, here's to wishing and hoping and even praying that this next go-round works better. Not holding my breath though, but my fingers and toes are all crossed.

Baby News

2011-04-13T15:51:00.002-06:00

My wife and I are super excited to welcome our newest granddaughter into our family. Isabella Jo West was born last evening at 9:13 p.m.. She was 7 lbs. 3 oz., and 19.5 inches.

That make our grandchildren count at 3 girls and 4 boys now, with 3 more boys on the way.

Welcome Isabella Jo!!! We already love you.

Why Do I Write Historical Fiction

2011-03-09T16:52:00.005-07:00

I've been asked why I chose the 1960s in which to set my first novel. In answer to that question, the main reason I set it in the '60s is mostly because that's where I envision it. I've tried to bring it up to modern day but it loses a huge, dare I say "magical," something. In short, it just doesn't work for me.

Call me weird, but I love looking back into the past and dreaming up stories of what could have happened back then. And I do not like stories with vampires and ware wolves and para-normal aspects, etc. that today's youth seem to prefer to read. That doesn't mean I won't read them. I just don't want to write about them.

I loved the books of Jack London, Harper Lee, Frank Norris, John Steinbeck, and others. They were what would be described as "realistic." These authors have had a strong influence in my decision to be a writer. I prefer realism. It has more true meaning to me.

Business Plan for Writers

2011-02-03T11:48:00.004-07:00

In the past, I had agents ask for a marketing plan to accompany my query, synopsis and sample chapters. Maybe, for writers, that would be about the same as a business plan. So, I think if I were to write a business plan for my writing it would look something like this:

1. Write the novel - Done
3. Join a critique group - Done
3. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done
4. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done
5. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done
6. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done
7. Write query and synopsis and find an agent or editor - Done
8. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done
9. Revise query and synopsis and find an agent or editor - Done
10. edit the novel and rewrite it - Done ad nauseam
11. Revise query and synopsis and find an agent or editor - ad nauseam

And finally, once I find an agent or editor who is willing to publish it:

12. edit the novel and rewrite it
13. Create web site with blog
14. Create catchy trailer
15. Talk up book on web site and blog
16. Talk up book on FaceBook, Twitter, and any other social network
17. Reap the meager rewards of all that effort.

At least that's what my business plan would look at from my experience so far. I hope your experience won't be so dragged out as mine has been.

I suppose you could put dates as goals, but expect them to be shattered.

Happy Writing!!!

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet -- Book Review

2010-12-28T10:44:00.004-07:00

I just finished reading a most wonderful debut novel, Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford. It's about a Chinese boy, Henry, and Japanese girl, Keiko, who fall in love at the tender age of 12, but circumstances beyond their control, the evacuation of Japanese people during WWII, kept them apart. The story is written in two eras, the 1940s and 1986 shortly after Henry became a widower. With the insistence of his son, he attempts to find his long lost love.

It's a sweet and tender story, sure to dampen your eyes a bit.

If there is something to criticize about Jamie Ford's work, I couldn't find it. It's a powerful and compelling story about how love can endure.

Frankly, I highly recommend it. You can read more about Ford's book at this site.

More About Edgy YA Novels

2010-09-29T10:21:00.000-06:00

The problem arises, as I see it, when what is called edgy becomes something that appeals more to kid's prurient interests than as a learning experience.

For example, I once started reading a novel by Judy Blum. Yes, the same Judy Blum who wrote all those cute childrens books. It was touted to be a young adult novel, so as a writer of young adult novels, and the book having been written by a famous author like Judy Blum, I thought it would be a good read. About a quarter of the way through it, I had to take it back to the library. I could not read it any further. It was filled with graphic sex, describing the act in great detail. I suppose it was supposed to have some kind of lesson about a girl losing her virginity and the consequences that follow, but to me it was nothing more than child pornography. It made me sick to think our children are reading that kind of filth.

I don't have a problem with an author writing about sex, even events leading up to a sexual encounter, but to describe the act in detail is pornography in my mind.

I like an edgy book now and then, if it's done without appealing to our children's baser and prurient interests. And I could go off on another tangent and say edgy does NOT need to have the infamous "F" word, or many of its synonyms. But that is something for another discussion.

Edgy Young Adult Fiction

2010-09-28T10:54:00.002-06:00

There has been quite a lot of talk recently on the utahchildrenswriters email forum about what constitutes edgy young adult fiction. There have been a lot of great comments, some pro and others con.

So, what is it, and is it good for our youth to read?

Well, I think a lot of people have differing ideas about what constitutes "edgy" fiction. I may be wrong (wouldn't be the first time) but to me, edgy does not have to have graphic sex, violence, or use the infamous "F" word on every other paragraph - or at all for that matter (and that's a subject I've covered before).

I think edgy is more a function of subject matter. If a novel touches on serious issues, such as rape, hatred, prejudice, bullying, unwed pregnancy, drug abuse, alcoholism, suicide, etc., it's edgy - at least in my mind - without all the graphics.

In my first novel, I tried to be as edgy as I could get without crossing the line into what I consider unacceptable. In the first chapter, I have described a horrific scene where a family is killed in a fiery automobile crash. Only two survive by being thrown clear of the accident (this was before seat belts). I may have pushed the limits of acceptable violence a bit, but I don't think it's out of line. The story is about forgiveness and judging, and throughout the story the main character is subjected to acts of violence as he tries to find who caused the accident that killed his family. He makes some rash judgments and eventually has to face his fears and the person he believes killed his family. In the end, their feud finds them on opposite ends of a gun – and Mark’s next move could be the biggest mistake of his life.

Still, with all this going on, I don't feel my novel crosses over the edge of what I consider acceptable.

Our youth today are deluged with graphic sex and violence and hear the "F" word constantly in school and other places. I think we, as adults, need to raise the bar of what constitutes good literature for young, impressionable minds.

Rewrite, Rewrite, Rewrite

2010-09-14T13:58:00.003-06:00

The other day, a fellow writer asked to see my first novel, you know, the one I began writing nearly 25 years ago, and after having gone through several critique groups, I thought it was as good as it could get??? Well, this writer wrote me a note, suggesting I read it aloud. Well, actually, I have never done that, at least not all the way through, but despite everyone saying how beneficial that usually is, I didn't think it would help. After all, my novel has been through the critique mill. It's gotta be near perfect. At least I thought so until I took up the challenge. Today, I read the first two chapters aloud, from a printout, not on the computer screen.

GASP! and GADS! What a horrible mess!!! I never dreamed it was so bad. I found typo after typo, extraneous words, noun-verb disagreements, and dialog that sounded stilted.

Now, I'm totally embarrassed that I actually sent it out to a couple of agents. They must think I'm something to think it was good enough for their consideration.

What now? Give up? NEVER!!!

Just let this be a lesson to me, and to all of you, my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you). Never think your writing is good enough. Read it aloud from a printout, not on screen. You'll be surprised as the goofs and gaffs you will find.

I certainly am.

I Wish My Novel Was Finished

2010-09-01T15:53:00.003-06:00

Recently, a writer friend commented that it seemed most middle grade novels begin with a "child of destiny" being attacked by a bully, then the bully disappears while the main character goes on to do whatever it is the book is really about.

I wish my novel I'm calling GERTA! were finished. It's about a horribly ugly, smelly, and fat girl who nobody likes - at first. She's not a child of destiny, far from it. She's also a slow learner, does poorly in school, but she's a genius mechanic. The boys in the class tease and ridicule her until the MC (POV character) eventually learns to love her as a child of God.

Yes, there are bullies, but they run through the entire novel, not just at the beginning.

I just wish it were close to being finished. I think there would be a big market for it.

Profanity Revisited

2010-07-14T16:21:00.002-06:00

I wrote this blog a long time ago, but I'm re-posting it as I'm hearing a lot of bull about the necessity of using profanity in one's writing.

Some people believe using profanity in their writing makes their prose sound more realistic. They claim it's necessary for shock value. While that may be, I don't believe it's "necessary" in order to create a sense of realism, which is all fiction is anyway.

In my novel "Sweet Revenge," I have some pretty tough characters, but I don't have any of them using profanity, even when they are being beat up by a group of thugs, or by the thugs themselves, for that matter. The antagonists (thugs) swear, but I never use the actual swear words. I just say, "So and so swore," or something like that, which allows the reader to imagine the epithet.

I don't think it's necessary to show a person swearing in order to show his emotional state. That can be shown by what he's seeing, hearing, saying, but mostly feeling in his heart.

I was part of a critique group once that was supposed to be strictly for writers of young adult literature. A young boy (around 16 or 17) joined the group and proceeded to put the infamous "F"-word in every other paragraph. When I told him publishers of YA material probably would not accept that kind of language, he became even more profane. I complained to the moderator, but she refused to do anything about it, so I quit rather than read any more of his filth.

I know I don't like to read those kinds of words when I’m enjoying a novel, and I think a lot of readers would prefer not to be subjected to them either, if the truth were known.

I for one, do not believe using profanity in ANY book is necessary, adult or young adult. I've seen many books depicting bad characters who use profanity, but the author chooses not to use the actual words. I think it's sufficient to indicate that a character swears, or swore, without using those profane words.

As an example. I read "The Great and Terrible" series by Chris Stewart. I recommend reading this series and other "best-selling" books by Mr. Stewart as great examples of what I'm talking about. Mr. Stewart has some pretty awful characters depicted in his books, characters who swear and use profanity, but he does not use the actual profane words, choosing rather to indicate that a character swore, and leave the bad word up to the imagination of the reader. It works. I don't think anyone reading his books will think they are fake or phony. They're quite realistic.

Another example is Dean Hughes' books. He writes about WWII and other difficult subjects where profanity should be expected. But I can't recall a single profane word and his books are totally believable.

Certainly, it takes a bit more creativity on our part, but isn't that what we writers pride ourselves as being -- creative?

I think we can avoid using profane words and still be realistic. It just takes a slight bit more effort. In my mind, using the actual words in our writing cheapens our work and is the lazy way out, and what example are we showing our youth?

Relief

2010-06-30T17:02:00.000-06:00

You know what? WordPerfect is wonderful!!! Maybe you can do this in MSWord too. I haven't tried it.

But today during my lunch break, I took my current version of GERTA! and compared it with a previous version side by side on the computer's monitor. It was great. I found where I was off and quickly fixed the problem. I wasn't off as much as I'd thought.

I'm back on track now, but I had to change the chapter numbers. My last post was Chapter 7 (I think), but my next post will be Chapter 10. don't ask how that happened, but it did, and it works.

Now to keep on track!

More Editing (Nightmare)

2010-06-24T09:29:00.003-06:00

I was just going through my WIP, GERTA! the other day, doing some edits, finding plot holes, and reconstructing some chapters, etc., and found whole sections and chapters out of place. I don't know how that happened, but I now have my work cut out for me. I think to fix this I need to print out at least the first 5 chapters (where I first noticed this problem), so I can see the whole thing at once, and figure out what needs to be where, and what's missing. Thank goodness for backups.

GRRR!

Revising

2010-06-16T14:53:00.004-06:00

I know it's been a while since I last commented here. It's not that I've given up on it, I've just been really busy at work. Being out of town for 3 weeks didn't help, then I was backlogged with office work to do. UGH!

Anyway, I'm back so all my faithful readers (all one or two of you) can breathe easier now.

As for some big (well maybe big maybe not) news. I got a request for a partial of BRIDGE TO DESTINY from a major, super, dream agent. I don't know if she will ask for more or not, but while I'm not holding my breath, I am finding it more difficult to exhale.

I thought today I'd make a couple of comments about revisions. BRIDGE TO DESTINY has gone through numerous revisions since its inception. Even the characters themselves have gone through a kind of metamorphosis. Mark, the main character was originally a pretty wimpy, reactionary kind of guy, but over the years has become more assertive, even aggressive at times. Genie, the main love interest has also changed. Originally, she was something of a drugged out slut. Now, she's a sweet, loving girl who grows to love Mark in the end. Charisse, Mark's first love interest hasn't really changed all that much. She's still the self-absorbed egoist she started out to be. And Gary, he started out as a hippie, became a beatnick, then back to a hippie. He also started out as just a friend to Mark, but in my latest revision he is now Mark's cousin.

Interesting how many changes have taken place in this novel, yet I believe each change has made it stronger.

When I first wrote the words "The End" the book was about 130,000 words long. I soon realized that was WAY too long for a young adult novel. I was told it shouldn't be more than 70,000 words. So, I started in editing a paragraph, even a sentence, at a time. Soon, I realized I could only save about 2,000 words that way and was still too far from my goal. So, deeper cuts were in order. I agonized over this next decision. I knew I had to cut whole scenes if not chapters.

Then, I realized I had some scenes that with some work could be combined with other scenes. I made a list of all the chapters and scenes and began the mental process of combination. Then, when it was solid in my mind, I started work on the actual manuscript. I saved it to a different file name on my hard drive so I wouldn't lose any of my original work in the event I ever needed it. I combined two dance scenes into one and found it actually worked better. I combined other scenes and cut out several others that I figured were not needed if I could put the essence of the scenes elsewhere. After all was said and done, I ended up with a manuscript about 80,000 words. Not quite the 70,000-word goal but close enough.

I think a lot of people who say they don't know where to cut need to take a lesson. Any story can be cut down with some work. I know it's hard work, and hard to see your prose being slashed, but it's often necessary, and I don't think I've ever seen a story being hurt by the process.

60s Trivia

2010-04-14T08:23:00.004-06:00

The answer to last week's trivia question, what is a 409?, is it's the size of Chevrolet's first muscle engine 409 cubic inches. It was kind of a dog, so Chevrolet replaced it with the 396 and the 427, bot of which, in my opinion, were far more powerful engines.

Since last week's trivia question was so well received, I thought it would be good to continue with another question. This one may be a bit more difficult, unless you were tuned into the drug culture of the 60s.

Who coined the phrase: "Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll?"

Bonus points (just kidding) for anyone who can give me some details of this person's life, and what kind of drugs was this person most interested in?

Sixty's Trivia

2010-04-08T12:01:00.004-06:00

Hey everyone,

I just thought of an idea to generate interest in my completed, but as yet unpublished novel. As all my faithful followers (all 1 or 2 of you) know, it's a young adult suspense novel, set in the mid-1960s. So, I'm thinking that maybe, if I post enough about it here, someone will get interested, and just maybe even an agent or editor will stumble on this site and want to know more (you think?).

Anyway, over the next while (time-frame yet to be determined) I'm going to post trivia questions about the 1960s and see if anyone wants to respond with an answer to the questions. I'm sure I'll have a lot of takers, so come one come all. Join the fun.

Sorry, but no prizes at this juncture. Just fun reminiscing.

So, my first question is this:

What is a 409?

Gotta Love Sarah

2010-03-29T17:09:00.002-06:00

BasicGuy has another award winning post titled "It's not Time to Retreat, but to Reload." Check it out. I think Sarah is right-on.

Book Review - "Prom"

2010-03-11T16:57:00.004-07:00

Again by Laurie Halse Anderson. Frankly, "Prom" disappointed me. She was nominated for the National Book Award with "Speak" but I can't help wondering whether she only had one good book in her? Maybe she'll write another good one someday, but "Prom" just didn't grab me. There was no trouble in the first few chapters for me to get concerned about. Then, she describes how the main character (girl) was hot for some loser. I suppose if I'd read on, I would have gotten concerned for the MC's judgement, but I got tired of wading through the first few chapters and gave up.

Maybe someone else will have a different opinion.

Book Review - "Speak"

2010-03-04T14:40:00.003-07:00

I just finished reading "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anders. It's a YA story that won "National Book Award Finalist" several years ago. Frankly, I enjoyed this book more than I did Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol." It's a not-too-edgy story about how a 9th grade girl copes with having been raped by a 12th grade boy. There are a few scenes that I don't see as being necessary, except to let us understand her mood, but overall, the story is great. Very poignant. And Ms. Anders' writing style is great. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to write YA.

What I especially liked was that the story was told without foul language, vulgarity, and without being graphic when it came to the rape depictions and it still was an exciting read. So, for those of you who say you gotta be "realistic" I say, you're being lazy. Our youth hear enough of that garbage in school. They don't need to hear it from us adults too. We need to be better examples.

Book Review - The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

2010-02-18T13:35:00.003-07:00

No spoilers here.

Having heard so much pre-publication publicity about Dan Brown's latest novel The Lost Symbol, I couldn't wait to get hold of a copy. I was intrigued with the idea of him explaining Masonic symbols, some of which are even found on LDS temples. Anxiously, I waited. Then it came out and I grabbed the first copy I could get.

I have to say, it was okay. That's about it. In about the first 1/3 of the novel, Brown drags his readers through tons of explanations of what various symbols mean, and tells us where they're located, even if they have to relevance to the story. Eventually, the book picks up as a life or death scenario develops. The chase to beat a ticking clock lends suspense, and the unraveling of hidden meanings of the various symbols' and how they lead to an ultimate solution is interesting, and there's a great twist near the end. But after the resolution, Brown goes back to explaining symbols that have little or no significance to the plot. The story actually ends about 4 or 5 chapters before the end of the book.

Overall, it's a fun read, but by far, Dan Brown's best novel so far was The Divinci Code.

Just my opinion.

Profanity in Your Writing

2010-01-12T14:36:00.004-07:00

Some people believe using profanity in their writing makes their prose sound more realistic. They claim it's necessary for shock value. While that may be, I don't believe it's "necessary" in order to create a sense of realism, which is all fiction is anyway.

In my novel "Sweet Revenge," I have some pretty tough characters, but I don't have any of them using profanity, even when they are being beat up by a group of thugs, or by the thugs themselves, for that matter. The antagonists (thugs) swear, but I never use the actual swear words. I just say, "So and so swore," or something like that, which allows the reader to imagine the epithet.

I don't think it's necessary to show a person swearing in order to show his emotional state. That can be shown by what he's seeing, hearing, saying, but mostly feeling in his heart.

I was part of a critique group once that was supposed to be strictly for writers of young adult literature. A young boy (around 16 or 17) joined the group and proceeded to put the infamous "F"-word in every other paragraph. When I told him publishers of YA material probably would not accept that kind of language, he became even more profane. I complained to the moderator, but she refused to do anything about it, so I quit rather than read any more of his filth.

I know I don't like to read those kinds of words when I’m enjoying a novel, and I think a lot of readers would prefer not to be subjected to them either, if the truth were known.

I for one, do not believe using profanity in ANY book is necessary, adult or young adult. I've seen many books depicting bad characters who use profanity, but the author chooses not to use the actual words. I think it's sufficient to indicate that a character swears, or swore, without using those profane words.

As an example. I read "The Great and Terrible" series by Chris Stewart. I recommend reading this series and other "best-selling" books by Mr. Stewart as great examples of what I'm talking about. Mr. Stewart has some pretty awful characters depicted in his books, characters who swear and use profanity, but he does not use the actual profane words, choosing rather to indicate that a character swore, and leave the bad word up to the imagination of the reader. It works. I don't think anyone reading his books will think they are fake or phony. They're quite realistic.

Another example is Dean Hughes' books. He writes about WWII and other difficult subjects where profanity should be expected. But I can't recall a single profane word and his books are totally believable.

Certainly, it takes a bit more creativity on our part, but isn't that what we writers pride ourselves as being -- creative?

I think we can avoid using profane words and still be realistic. It just takes a slight bit more effort. In my mind, using the actual words in our writing cheapens our work and is the lazy way out, and what example are we showing our youth?

The Dreaded Bio

2010-01-06T11:33:00.003-07:00

Today, in the Query Tracker Blog, Elana Johnson has an excellent posting about the dreaded bio.

I've read a lot about the need for a short bio in a query letter. It should highlight your writing experience or credentials. But what do you do if you really have nothing to brag about? I have no publishing credits, at least not yet. I'm not a member of any prestigious writing associations. I'm not an expert in any field related to the subject matter. So what do I write?

There are two kinds of bios we writers need to be concerned with. The short paragraph, in the query letter, and the longer one sometimes asked for separately, often along with a synopsis and sample chapters.

Here's some examples of both:

Short, query letter, version:

I grew up in the town and era in which this novel is set. I currently work as an environmental biologist writing technical reports, and use fiction writing as my therapy from boredom.

Longer version:

Paul West is a freelance writer and novelist. Born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, Paul claims to be a "Prune Picker," though he now makes his home in West Jordan, Utah.

The rustic San Francisco Bay Area countryside, the quaint small town he grew up in, and the colorful people who once lived there, have all teamed to fertilize his ever-churning mind with stories that are yearning to be told.

From his earliest days in high school, his English teachers saw some raw writing ability in him, both for fiction and non-fiction, and urged him to pursue his dream of being a writer. In college his creative writing professors also encouraged him to mold his ability into a talent.

After settling on a career as an environmental biologist, where he’s written numerous technical publications, the stories swarming through his mind kept crying to get out. So Paul began writing fiction, but only as a hobby at first. He has recently finished his first novel, SWEET REVENGE, and is close to finishing his second, GERTA! Paul intends to keep letting his stories out through future novels.

Paul is a member of several writing and critique groups including Authors by Design, Writers Pen, Query Tracker, Children's Writer's & Illustrator's, Utah Children’s Writers, among others. In addition to his writing, he and his wife, enjoy spending time with their four children and six grandchildren, gardening, reading, and researching their family history.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-12T08:53:00.003-07:00

With all that's going on in the West household lately, it's a wonder I find time to get on the internet at all, let alone write a blog message.

As always, the Christmas season is hectic, but this year is especially so with my wife, Brenda, in charge of two church dinners and a breakfast, then there's wedding bells upcoming. My son, Michale, is finally tying the knot. But along with that we put on a shower for the bride, then there's the wedding, and wedding breakfast upcoming, three days before Christmas -- and that's not the end of it.

With all that, is it any wonder we're having difficulty enjoying this special season? Still, I want to take a moment to reflect on all the wonderful Christmases I've enjoyed and I know, in spite of all that's going on to distract us, this Christmas will be as wonderful and special as any, maybe even more so.

So, with that, I wish everyone (all 1 or 2 of you) a wonderful and love-filled Christmas, and I hope you will take time to reflect on the real meaning of Christmas, the birth of our Lord and Savior into this world, who taught us he wonderful gospel and culminated his ministry with his sacrifice in the Garden of Gethsemane, and on the cross, to pay the price for our sins so we don't have to if we accept Christ and repent of all our wrong doings. Then, if we do that we can return to our Heavenly Father some day where we can inherit ALL that He has.

So I wish you a very Merry Christmas to all.

Paul

What Qualifies A Novel As Historical

2009-11-19T15:15:00.002-07:00

I've been struggling to decide whether or not I can classify my novel set in the mid-1960s as historical. Recently, I posed this question on several writer's forums and got some great answers. But the one I really think solidified my feelings that my work is "historical" is the one by LDSPublisher. Her response was illuminating, and greatly appreciated.

Historical fiction, simply defined, is when an author puts fictional characters against a setting of real historical events. Usually, to call it historical, the fictional characters need to interact with real historical figures or take part in/be impacted by the actual events.

What defines a historical event? Some people would call a novel set in the 70s historical fiction. Personally, I'm offended by that. I remember the 70s. Sort of. The 1950s is borderline. By the time you get to WWII, it would definitely be classified as historical.

Just because you can take a plot from one era and make it work just as well in another era doesn't mean it isn't a historical novel. However, the more the story depends upon the actual historical event, the more truly "historical" it is.

By that definition, even though it's more recent than most historical works, I still think my novel fits the bill. It's set with the Vietnam War as a backdrop. Kids are talking about either joining up, or being drafted, and even draft dodging. Arguments and even fist fights break out over that subject.

So, what does all that mean?

It means I need to start marketing it as a historical as well as young adult. I think that should open more agents' doors. At least I'm hoping so.

So, does your work fit within that definition, or are you writing more contemporary?

Excitement Around the Old Family Homestead

2009-10-26T12:47:00.005-06:00

I am super excited. My daughter, Rebecca, and her husband, Joel, and their three kids are coming to stay with us this week. They will be staying for 6 or 7 months while Joel joins the Air Force JAG program (we hope, assuming he's passed the BAR exam) and trains in the Air Force Officer's Candidate School (or is it Officer's Training School. I can never remember).

My wife and I have been working hard to get everything ready for them, including rearranging the beds in the house so the two oldest can be near grandma and grandpa and the baby will be downstairs with her mom and dad.

Welcome Becky and Joel and kids!!! We're excited to have you stay with us.

Thought for the day:

2009-09-17T16:00:00.001-06:00

Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. You can spend the day in bed recounting your difficulties or get out of bed and be thankful for the happy memories you have stored away. -- Michelle Allsop.

Frustrated by the Querying Process

2009-09-16T09:18:00.002-06:00

As all of you, my faithful followers (all 1 or 2 of you) know, I am not the best query writer in the world. I've struggled with this form for years and still probably don't have it down right. Lately, I've been following the blog entries written by Elana Johnson on the Query Tracker blog site. She's written a book on how to write query letters and market your books and stories, etc., to agents and editors. I think her book is probably very good, she has a better than 30% positive response rate to her query letters, but I can't afford the $18.00 to buy it. Nevertheless, I've gotten a lot of good, detailed information about query writing just from her blog entries.

Using Elana's blogs as a go-by, I think my latest query is pretty good. I've submitted it to three places on the web where I could get some feedback fairly quickly, and think her advice has helped a lot. Many of the feedback comments have been positive, and most of the other feedback have further helped me refine my letter.

Still, I have to laugh. I think I've done everything I can to make my letter as perfect as is humanly possible, and I'm still getting criticism. I think that must be part of human nature, to criticize. One writer, whom I highly respect, suggested that my letter was too sparse and needed a few details. So, I added just a sprinkle of detail, and another commenter then said he thought it was too much detail, I only need the bare bones. I can't win.

If I were to follow everyone's comments to the letter I'd never get my query letter written. I think I just need to use the version I think best now and see what happens.

However, Heather Dyer wrote on today's Query Tracker blog that it might be good to have a few different versions of the query, send out a few of each every week or two and see which version garners the most responses. I think I might try that.

So, last night I resumed the querying process. But found I now have another problem. I've about used up all the agents that represent young adult novels. I went to the Agent Query website and had difficulty finding someone I hadn't already submitted my novel to. So, what do I do now?

Global Warming - The Truth Behind It

2009-09-01T16:13:00.002-06:00

Recently, in a Yahoo News Story, the truth of global warming was explained. Here's the link to the scientific report. It says pretty much what I've been maintaining for years.

Things Are Not As They Seem

2009-08-26T16:05:00.001-06:00

Basic guy has another great post. Please read and pass on. It's frightening, but true.

2009-08-18T16:26:00.002-06:00

The Basic Guy has left a great commentary on his blog site. Check it out at Basic Guy

Should I or Should I Not ...

2009-08-11T12:02:00.002-06:00

Revise? Again!

I know, I've been over this several times in the past. Should I revise Sweet Revenge to be contemporary, or keep it as a historical set in the 1960s. Should I call it a Young Adult fiction, or Adult?

To revise will take a lot of work. The entire book will need to be reworked to make it sound contemporary. But, to not revise may mean it will never sell. But maybe it still will? Maybe it's just my query letter. Maybe I should market it as an adult nostalgic piece?

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

More on Platform, or Marketing Your Work

2009-08-06T14:46:00.003-06:00

Today I read a posting of a successful author wherein she says she is very shy and has a difficult time with personal interaction, which makes marketing her works difficult.

I too am VERY shy, but I've also learned that at times I simply need to overcome that. Having had various leadership type of church callings has forced me to climb out of my shell at times. In each of these callings I was forced for be outgoing which is totally against my nature. But I found I could do it if I tried.

However, marketing your literary creations does not necessarily require one to suddenly become an extrovert. There are plenty of behind the scenes ways of becoming "known". Blogging is an excellent method, but it’s just a beginning. First you have to encourage people to read your blog. Posting regularly on other writers forums helps to draw attention to you, your work, and your blog. Commenting regularly on other writers' blogs can also go a long way to getting people to know you, as does commenting regularly on Facebook, Twitter, Good Reads, and other social networking sites. I've even gone to sites such as ClassMates and Reunion to reconnect with old high school friends that I haven't heard from in many years. I'm finding them on Facebook and Twitter as well.

All these can help, but if you have an expertise, or are well versed in some subject or theme, posting your ideas wherever and whenever you can helps even more.

Now, don't think I'm some kind of expert in platform building. I'm trying. But I have to admit I don't do a good job of it yet. I simply don't have the time to devote to doing all this. I takes time and effort. But a shy person can do this just as well as an extrovert.

Platform. What's yours?

2009-07-28T08:29:00.010-06:00

Recently, I was asked about the need for credibility as a writer. In a way, I think this relates to platform, about which there has been a lot of comments on writing websites lately.

In nonfiction, credibility is your platform. If you've done extensive research into your subject matter, are a known expert in that field, or have a PhD after your name, you probably have credibility, and for those interested in your subject, you have a built-in audience, or instant platform as well. Consider the well-known radio advice personality, Dr. Laura, for instance. In addition to her PhD in physiology, she has done research in human behavior, religion, and has expressed her views on her radio program. Because of this, she has automatic credibility and platform. Anything she wants to write would be immediately picked up by a major publisher.

For fiction, credibility and platform are very different. A writer does not need to establish himself as an expert in some field of endeavor, though it can help, but more needs to write material that is at once credible and entertaining. To be credible, the writer needs to research the subject matter, the setting, characters, etc., and must be able to craft a compelling story. That, to me, constitutes credibility for fiction. Platform, then comes to the writer as his writings gain respect and following from his readers.

At least that was how it used to be.

Today, writers, in addition to writing and crafting compelling stories, are also expected to be marketers, or salesmen if you will. Many writers, who are timid by nature, find this expectation difficult to bear. For whatever reason, publishers are unwilling to expend a lot of money on publicizing works of new and unknown authors who lack platform. Thus, it is important for a writer to become also a salesman. One way to do this is by establishing himself in the writing community as a known commodity even before his writing is accepted for publication. If he can also establish himself with his genre's reading group, i.e. young adults, readers of fantasy or science fiction, mystery readers, etc., he will be that much further ahead when his work is finally accepted for publication. So, where do you find these reading groups? I'm not an inexhaustible source of information on that subject, but think about places you've been, organizations you've been part of. Consider old school friends, people you may not have heard from in many years. I'm finding more old friends nearly every day on Facebook, ClassMates, Twitter, etc. I'm also a member of several writers forum web pages. In all my signature blocks, I've got a reference to this blog, and as soon as my book is accepted for publication, I intend to contact everyone I know, and hopefully word of mouth will take care of the rest. And, if I can get a small allowance for advertising, that will be a help too.

Happy writing and reading.

Interview with Ellen Hopkins - Revisited 2 Years Latter

2009-07-14T08:18:00.002-06:00

To all my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you),

This morning as I checked my email, I found the following comment from “Anonymous” to a blog posting I wrote two years ago regarding an interview I had with Ellen Hopkins, who is a friend of mine, and author of CRANK, BURNED, GLASS, IDENTICAL and other NY Times bestsellers (I can’t recall all her titles at the moment). It appears the interview is no longer available, sorry. I had no idea someone would go that far back to make a comment, but still, I appreciate this person’s comment and want to respond in a way that she (based on her comments Anonymous appears to be female) will hopefully see it, as well as let you, my faithful readers, understand how I feel about a couple of important subjects.

Here is her comment, followed by my own:

--------------------------------------

Dear Paul,

I've recently read CRANK and GLASS, and both were novels that I could not put down. I see a lot on here about her being "explicit" but I don't think that's the issue. I think the beauty of her novels is the pain that she shows. She doesn't glorify drug use, like so many books and movies do (the electric kool-aid acid test, anyone?). She gives you the raw truth, about how bad drugs can screw you up. I'm 20 years old, and I've been through severe depression and the suicide of a best friend. I am in a much better place now than I was in January, when I attempted my own death. Reading her interview makes me realize that maybe I can begin to accept his suicide by trying to write from his perspective, instead of just my own feelings about loving him and missing him.

Explicit or not, her stories tell the truth about using drugs, about what can really happen to you. I can't imagine anyone who would read that novel and want to try meth. And THAT is what's really important.

--------------------------------------

Dear Anonymous,

I truly hope you read this response.

I think you missed my point. I love the way Ms. Hopkins writes about drug abuse and suicide and several other very important subjects. She has a beautiful way of portraying through her “free verse” style of writing, the truth about the horrors of drug abuse that cuts to the soul. I don't have any trouble with her subject matter or the way she presents these issues. The trouble I have is two fold:

1. Explicit use of the so-called "F" word. I know that is supposed to portray realism. She uses it sparingly, I admit, and only for its shock value. But to me it is not necessary, and as adults, we ought to show a better example to our youth.

2. In her book BURNED she refers to a Mormon family and comes dangerously close to portraying this dysfunctional and abusive family as normal of Latter Day Saints, and as a Latter Day Saint, I take exception to that. I think this would have been better, and totally acceptable, if she had not mentioned the denomination.

Aside from those two issues, I think her books are great and I recommend them to every youth who is depressed, tempted to try illicit drugs, or worse, suicide.

More About Sexism in the Publishing Industry

2009-07-07T14:47:00.001-06:00

If you think about it, you have to admit the overwhelming number of young adult (YA) books are targeted toward girls. Think teen-romance novels, novels with girls as main characters, such as mysteries and suspense novels, even YA fantasy novels. Very few novels are ever targeted to boys, and I think that is in part a result of too many female editors and female agents looking for novels written by females, or male writers who are willing to cater to the female sex, erroneously thinking boys don’t read YA.

I think it’s not a matter of boys not reading YA novels, it’s more that there simply aren’t many books geared toward them. In my opinion, male writers should be encouraged to target their writing to boys. Then, we male writers need to send our queries to male agents and editors, or at least to female agents and editors who understand this issue, and see whether boys will read YA novels.

I think it may be a while before agents and editors get the point, but we need to start somewhere. There are a lot of great male writers. I think they are every bit as good writers as female writers (and some argument could be made that some are even better than most female writers). They just need to be encouraged to target their talents toward boys.

I’ve written one complete YA novel and am working on a second, both with male protagonists, and I have several more YA novels with male protagonists in mind. I suspect they are likely to be a difficult sale simply because they are written with a male audience in mind and most agents and editors are under (in my opinion) the false impression that boys won’t read YA.

To that I say, try it and see.

Aw, Grandkids

2009-07-01T08:25:00.003-06:00

My daughter Rebecca is visiting from Nebraska with her 2 kids, Andrew, Emma, and Olivia. Brenda and I are having a wonderful time with them and are going to hate to see them leave.

Last week, my eldest son, David, with 2 of his 3 boys (Matthew and Nathan) took Becky's 2 oldest kids (Andrew and Emma) on a train ride on the FrontRunner. Its a commuter train between Salt Lake City and Ogden. While there we visited the railroad museum. The kids are all train fanatics (anyone heard of Thomas the Tank Engine?). They were thrilled. Wide-eyed. The trip was a bit long and by the end they were exhausted, as were David and Me, and little Emma fell asleep on my lap, but I suspect they would do it all over if given a chance.

The photo on my sidebar shows David and me, with the 4 kids in front of the FrontRunner train.

Sexism in the Young Adult Publishing Industry

2009-06-11T15:27:00.003-06:00

This may sound sexist, but I don't mean it to, so I hope no one will take offense.

I can't help wondering why boys don't read more young adult novels. Statistics evidently show that if they do read, it's probably something like adult science fiction or action/adventure, etc. Boys generally do not seem interested in novels written for the young adult audience.

But why is that?

Could it be that most YA writers, agents, and editors are women? If women write, represent, and publish what they like, I can understand why most boys probably would not care to read that. Face it, boys have different tastes than girls, which goes without saying, but I think this needs to be included in the equation somewhere.

I have written a young adult novel, and am half way through my second one, both of which probably are not targeted to young women. Since most of the agents I've sent it to are women, do you think that may be a partial reason it has not met with much success yet? If I were a woman, the story would likely be different, geared for girls and it would probably have found a home long before now -- maybe? That's assuming it's good enough to get published in the first place. But being a man, with a man's interests and thought patterns, I write for men (boys). So, when a woman agent reads about it, it doesn't catch her interest, but it may catch the interest of male agents and editors. So, that's what I'm trying to do now -- send my query letter out to more male agents.

Time will tell if that strategy will work. I'll keep you (all 1 or 2 of you faithful followers) posted.

Aw, Blue Hawaii

2009-06-03T14:32:00.003-06:00

My wife and I just got back from a most wonderful vacation to Hawaii. We truly hated to leave that beautiful place. We'd seen lots of pictures of the islands, but until last week had never been there, and the pictures don't do it justice, in my mind. We only visited the island of Oahu, but we toured most of it. We got rained on on the windward side, but even that wasn't bad, except during the short torrential downpours. We stayed in Waikiki and mostly took bus tours, and enjoyed every minute of it, especially the Polynesian Cultural Center.

Anyway, since I'm back, I'll be posting something of substance soon. I just don't have time right now.

More Decisions

2009-05-19T10:43:00.002-06:00

For a chapter of my current WIP, I've been trying to write insulting parodies of old songs that adolescent boys might sing to a girl they find repulsive. You know how we boys can be so insensitive at times. However, I totally suck at writing poetry of any kind, plus I fear if the song is recognizable, which it surely would be, I will likely have to pay a royalty to the composer, or his descendants, and that can be a royal pain to go through the process of finding the composer's descendants, and deciding how much to pay, etc.

So, I'm thinking of cutting that chapter and moving on. I've stressed over this chapter too long now, and the more I think about it, while it would be fun to write (assuming I could write descent insulting poetry) it probably isn't necessary. The boys in this book are pretty insulting as it is and maybe I don't need to belabor the issue.

Here's to moving on.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2009-04-30T10:27:00.004-06:00

Recently I read on one of my favorite writer's forums, a question asking how long should a writer continue to send out queries. That question intrigued me, since I've been sending out queries, off and on, for a LOOOONG time now. The answer seemed logical enough that I'll share its essence with you, my faithful followers (all 2 or 3 of you -- do I still have that many?).

The answer was something to the effect that a writer should keep querying until he/she either sells the book, or until the next book is finished. The assumption, I gathered, is that when the second one is ready, you've probably grown in your craft and the second may just sell first. If so, then the first book might be also taken more seriously and might sell as well. But those could be a BIG MIGHTs!

I also read that if you've sent out 20 or so queries without any requests for partials or fulls, you should consider re-working your query. It's obviously not catching the agents'/editors' attention. However, I can't help wondering in my case, if instead of it being the query letter could it be the subject matter? I mean, after all, my first novel is a young adult novel, set in 1965 during the Vietnam War. I call it a YA historical suspense. But how many agents/editors are interested in that genre?

So, now that the economy is bottoming out, I'm toying with whether I should resume querying, and if I do, should I keep re-working my query (I'm only on the umpteenth version now), or assume agents/editors just are not interested in my novel's subject matter?

I Just Found Out I'm A Right-Wing Extremist . . .

2009-04-16T16:19:00.004-06:00

. . . and probably a terrorist as well! Wow. I never suspected.

Let me ask all my faithful followers (all 1 or 2 of you). Do you love your country? Do you love your family? Do you love God? Do you pray? Do you love the Constitution? Do you believe government should protect us, not coerce us?

Well, my friend, it looks like you're probably a right-wing extremist too, and maybe even a conservative terrorist as well.

Global Warming???

2009-04-02T16:22:00.005-06:00

This morning I read a news article that was reporting on a NASA study. It said, in effect, that there has been a marked reduction in sunspot activity over the past several years. HMM! According to the article, it hasn't been this quiet in nearly 100 years. HMM!! And, they expect the reduction in sunspot activity to keep happening for the foreseeable future. HMM!!!

Al Gore and Michael Moore. Can either of you spell G-L-O-B-A-L C-O-O-L-I-N-G???? For that matter, can you spell at all? I'm not convinced of your intellectual abilities, or do you have something else in mind, like making money off us poor people with your cap-in-trade scheme?

Average world temperatures over the past 10 years have been COOLING! not warming. And cap-in-trade will do NOTHING to help either way, because it ain't us causing the changes in world temperature. Try looking up!

"So, what about the polar caps' ice-melt?" you might ask. First, there is some question as to the viability of the satellite imagery that reported the shrinking north polar ice cap. Also, even if the ice caps are melting in some areas, other scientists tell us they are actually growing in other areas.

Can we all spell E-L N-I-N-I-O and L-A N-I-N-I-A?

Then, there's the issue of under ocean volcanoes. They've been erupting at an increasing rate over the past several years. Might they play a role?

Obama. Take a hint. Global warming ain't happenen'! So, quit trying to get rich off us poor slobs.

Something Sobering

2009-03-30T14:59:00.001-06:00

I just read this article by Newt Gingrich and know it to be true.

It's sobering. Is anyone listening?

Independent vs. Industry Publishing

2009-03-24T08:36:00.003-06:00

I received a question yesterday from one of my many followers (all 2 or 3 of you), Chas Hathaway. If I understand his question correctly, I'll attempt to address it. Here's the question:

I've heard that it's a good time to get into the independent publishing market.

Is that true? If so, what are the biggest differences between independent and industry publishing?

He was responding to my comment that for the time being, due to the economic downturn in the publishing industry I'm not sending out any more query letters.

Let me answer by first defining what I think he means by "independent publishers" and "industry publishers."

The way I understand independent publishers is that they are those companies that will publish almost anything you want published, but they do it for a fee. Sometimes, they are called vanity presses. It's great for publishing a limited number of works such as family histories, recipes for a church organization, or even a novel if you don't intend to make any money from the sales. Certainly, there have been some notable exceptions, but they are few and far in between.

Industry publishers, on the other hand, only publish writings such as non-fiction books and novels that meet their company's standards. Often, with large publishing houses, you need an agent to approach these companies. These companies usually pay an advance against royalties, plus when the advance pays out, they will continue to pay royalties as long as the book is in print and still selling.

Keep in mind, that to a serious writer, the money should ALWAYS go TO the author, never the other way around. If a writer doesn't care about the money, then the independent publisher may be the way to go. On the other hand, if a writer expects to sell his book and earn money from his writing, then the industry publishers are the way to go.

Keep in mind, however, that the book needs to be up to the industry publisher's standards. I go by the mantra: "if it isn't good enough to be published by a reputable "industry" publisher, it probably isn't good enough." That means, if they won't buy it, I need to either work to improve it, or start something new.

I hope this answers Chas's question, and questions regarding this subject anyone else might have.

Keep writing and reading.

Thought of the Day

2009-03-19T08:18:00.000-06:00

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience.

-- Author Unknown

(Try telling that to your younger boss.)

Why Mormons Build Temples

2009-03-12T15:33:00.004-06:00

I thought this video might be of interest to all my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you). Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/mormonmessages

Also, have you checked out Basic Guy lately? He's made some great commentaries on our nation's situation. Check it out.

Stopping Querying

2009-03-04T11:11:00.001-07:00

I'm reading on several writer's forums about how bad the book-selling industry is doing right now with the down economy. I'm hearing (reading) that agents and editors are taking on very few new projects and selecting the ones they do take on with extreme care.

So, I'm thinking of stopping my querying for the time being (months, years) until the economy improves. I have nine outstanding queries. I think I'll see what comes of them, but wait to send out any more.

My thinking is I want to wait until the market improves so I won't get a bunch of rejections that otherwise could be acceptances. There are only a finite number of agents and publishing houses and if I exhaust them now, when they're not in the buying mood, I may have lost them possibly forever.

At least that's my thinking for the time being.

Anyone disagree?

Sound Familiar?

2009-02-12T16:28:00.004-07:00

"To get what we want we must be subtle as snakes; more deadly, more cunning, more patient, more mean. Think of the serpent, how it slithers through the garden. It's such a beautiful creature, slow and delicate, rarely seen but effective, low, and not loved, but gloriously efficient! The serpent is now our model; we must pattern our work after him. So go to your old friends and stand by their sides. Pretend you want to help them while whispering deceits in their ears. Only lie when you have to. Speak the truth when you can; for the truth, once it's twisted, is the most effective tool we have. Coat your lies with enough truth, and they will swallow it down.

"Now listen to me, people, for this is the key-evil can be twisted into virtue if you phrase it just right. Any vice is accept-acceptable if you cloak it as an issue of freedom. Any immorality is worth fighting for if you tell them they are fighting for choice, if you wrap it in the mantle of privacy and freedom. So take their moral agency and turn it on them. But be patient. . . be patient . . . it takes time to turn the truth upside down."

-- Satan

(As quoted from the novel, "'The Great and Terrible,' Vol I, 'The Brothers.'" By Chris Stewart.

Sound familiar? Sound like Liberals and Marxists?

Profanity in Young Adult Fiction (or any fiction for that matter)

2009-02-09T11:46:00.003-07:00

This subject has a pet peeve of mine for a long time. The subject recently came up in the Utah Children's Writer's message board, and there are a lot of people who say profanity is needed to make a scene believable or credible.

I for one, do not believe using profanity in ANY book is necessary, adult or young adult. I've seen many books depicting bad characters who use profanity, but the author chooses not to use the actual words. I think it's sufficient to indicate that a character swears, or swore, without using those profane words.

As an example. I'm currently reading "The Great and Terrible" series by Chris Stewart. I recommend reading this series and other "best-selling" books by Mr. Stewart as great examples of what I'm talking about. Mr. Stewart has some pretty awful characters depicted in his books, yes, characters who swear and use profanity, but he does not use the actual profane words, choosing rather to indicate that a character swore, and leave the bad word up to the imagination of the reader. It does work. I don't think anyone reading his books will think they are fake or phony. They're quite realistic.

Another example is Dean Hughes' books. He writes about WWII and other difficult subjects where profanity should be expected. But I can't recall a single profane word and his books are totally believable.

Certainly, it takes a bit more creativity on our part, but isn't that what we writers pride ourselves as being -- creative?

I think we can avoid using profane words and still be realistic. It just takes a slight bit more effort. In my mind, using the actual words in our writing cheapens our work and is the lazy way out, and what example are we showing our youth?

Another Thought

2009-02-03T14:45:00.002-07:00

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Admiral Hyman Rickover (1900 - 1986)
U.S. Navy

A Thought for Today's Scene

2009-02-02T15:47:00.002-07:00

"The totalitarian phenomenon is not to be understood without making allowance for the thesis that some important part of every society consists of people who actively want tyranny: either to exercise it themselves or -- much more mysteriously -- to submit to it. Democracy will therefore always remain at risk."

-- Jean-Francois Revel

I think we're close to being there.

Querying

2009-02-02T11:48:00.002-07:00

Seven queries sent via email and on-line submission sites. Three automated rejections so far. I can't help thinking with the automated rejections, as nice as they sound, did the agent even look at the query? I got these back within hours of sending them off.

Makes one wonder.

Starting Up Again

2009-01-15T16:19:00.003-07:00

Well, after a long dry spell of not sending out queries, I finally began sending them out again. I started with three e-queries. With my revised query and novel manuscript, I'm holding my fingers and crossing my breath - I know that's backwards, but it's what I feel like.

Anyway, wish me luck.

My Grandkids

2009-01-08T15:46:00.003-07:00

Finally, I've finished the goal I set for myself to be finished editing SWEET REVENGE by the end of the year (2008). Now begins the arduous task of finding an agent. Wish me luck. My queries haven't attracted much attention in the past, so here's hoping for the future! I probably need to find a new name for the book.

On a personal note: My daughter and her husband and 3 kids are visiting for the week. The live in Nebraska and had to brave the huge snow storm we had on Monday to get here. My stomach was tied in knots all day.

On Tuesday night, my wife and had got the opportunity of having the two oldest ones, Andrew and Emma, spend the night with us. Andrew was excited to have an overnighter with grandma and grandpa, but I'm not so sure about Emma. She's almost 2, so it was probably more difficult for her, but she handled it well.

Well, that night, I had to go out and shovel the snow off our driveway and sidewalks. Little Andrew asked, "Can I help, Grandpa?" keep in mind he's only 4. I told him that would be fine and after bundling him up, I handed him a light weight, plastic shovel he could use. I was amazed at how well he worked. He's strong for a 4-year-old. He picked up some pretty large chunks of snow and plopped them onto the piles of snow along-side our driveway (well almost). After a while, I could see he was shivering, and some snow had fallen into his jacket sleeve. So, I asked him if he wanted to go back inside and warm up. He said, "No, Grandpa. I want to be with you, Grandpa." I about cried, I was so touched. Later, I said he could have a cookie, even though his mother had told him he couldn't because he hadn't eaten his dinner (he's a lousy eater). He was thrilled, and after putting Emma down for the night -- singing and rocking her to sleep (I love doing that), I went downstairs with Andrew and watched Kung Fu Panda with him. We didn't get too far into the movie before he first climbed up on my lap and cuddled close, then a few minutes later, moved to the couch beside me and laid his head on my lap. Soon he was asleep. So, I carried him upstairs and put him to bed. It was such a touching evening. I'm a real sap for my grandkids. Can you tell?

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T12:59:00.002-07:00

It's time for New Year's goal setting. I'm a bit delayed in my FINAL revision of Sweet Revenge, but it should be finished by next week, assuming all goes well. Then I will resume looking for an agent.

I submitted my first chapter to Firebrand Literary Agency, but they haven't responded yet, but then I don't expect them to ever respond. I heard they've gotten several thousand submissions during their query free submission fiasco, and they still have all of January to go with their offer. I think they're crazy, but it's what they want to do, and I'm not complaining. I hope I do hear from them, but I'm not holding my breath.

So, for my New Year's writing goals:

Finish revising SWEET REVENGE
Find an agent for SWEET REVENGE
Finish writing GERTA!
Begin searching for an agent for GERTA!
Start new novel

This year may prove to be a busy one. I wish everyone who reads this good luck and prosperity in the coming year.

Paul
Author (wannabe)

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-23T08:48:00.001-07:00

to all of my faithful (all 1 or 2 of you) followers. I pray the spirit and love of Jesus Christ will abide in you and in your homes.

(By the way, if you haven't read Basic Guy lately, I think he's made some wise comments that we need to listen to)

And remember, wise men seek Him (Jesus Christ) still.

Paul

The 12 Days of Christmas

2008-12-18T10:35:00.002-07:00

I thought today, I would deviate from some of my usual posting subjects and talk a little about Christmas.

How many of you (all 1 or 2 of you can raise your hands) know where the "12 Days of Christmas" idea came from?

Most of us think the 12 Days of Christmas begins on December 13 and goes through the 25th. I know I've participated in "12 Days of Christmas" activities by bringing gifts to the less fortunate. It's fun and exciting to see the smiles of unsuspecting children as they open their front doors on a frosty evening to see a box of gifts and goodies and food from some anonymous giver. It's also fun to find ways to be deceptive as we ring the door bell and run to some pre-determined hiding place before we get caught. I love it all - giving. It's a great tradition.

But that isn't how the "12 Days of Christmas" began. Historically, the 12 Days of Christmas actually began on December 25 and ended on January 6. Huh? I know you all (all 1 or 2 of you) are thinking, where did that idea come from?

In the Catholic tradition, January 6th is the Day of Epiphany. So, what is that, you might ask. Again, according to Catholic tradition, it is the day the Wise Men had an epiphany, or that "Ah, hah!" moment, when they realized Jesus was the Christ, and brought him gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. It's supposedly the day they visited, and worshiped, the Christ Child, again, supposedly, in the stable.

Realistically, however, we as Latter Day Saints, don't necessarily believe the Wise Men visited Jesus in the stable. I think Joseph and Mary would have moved him by then, even if it were only 12 days later. More realistically however, is that the Wise Men probably visited him nearly two years later. The scriptures tell us of Herod, King of the Jews, killing all children in Nazareth (not Bethlehem, two years of age and younger in an attempt to destroy his competition -- Jesus. When the Wise Men visited Jesus, the scriptures tell us they entered the house, Jesus' house, where he was living as a child with his mother Mary and step father Joseph, and it says he was a child, not a baby.

Still, the story is basically true. Wise Men did come to the realization that Jesus is the Christ and brought Him gifts. Today, wise men still have an epiphany and come to the realization that Jesus is the Christ, and they still bring him gifts: "broken heart and contrite spirit." We also give him gifts when we help the less fortunate.

Let's hope at this Christmas season we all remember who we are, sons and daughters of deity, brothers and sisters in Christ, and we're all in this mess, called mortality, together. We need to help each other, we're expected, even commanded to help each other, and come before our Savior with a broken heart and contrite spirit so we can inherit ALL He has -- the Celestial Kingdom of God.

I pray you all will have a wonderful Christmas.

Paul

Editing Sweet Revenge Update

2008-12-03T15:38:00.004-07:00

A few weeks ago, I mentioned to all my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you) that I have decided to revise Sweet Revenge again (for the last time - I hope). I had decided to add back in some of the story elements that I'd deleted some time ago in order to get the word count down something agents and editors would consider reasonable (around 70,000 words) - not an easy task.

I originally had a lot more of a secondary characters' (Gary's and Kathy's) story, and had a word count of somewhere around 130,000 words. I toyed with the idea of putting some of that back in but now have decided against that idea as it really takes away from the main story. I did put back in a lot of what I'd cut of my main characters' (Mark's and Genie's) story and after doing that, the total word count is now hovering around 81,100 words. I hope that's not too far out of line.

The upshot of this is that I thought this would take me months to do, but thanks to WordPerfect's side-by-side window comparison feature, I was able to simply compare the old with the new and add what I felt was needed to make the story richer. Now, I just need to read through the story, using a hard copy and a red pen, to make sure the story flows and tracks, then I'll be ready to market it again.

Wish me luck with that one.

Another idea came to me, and I've been playing with it for some time now. As I've been going through this story and editing it, I've come to realize it's not only a coming of age story, but it may also be literary since it's totally character driven. I don't mean to say there is no plot, there's a strong plot, but the plot is driven by the characters, not the other way around. I'm not sure where mainstream, young adult, coming of age ends and literary begins, but it's something to consider.

Getting Into the Head of Your Antagonist

2008-11-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

Recently, someone posed a question regarding a first-person look inside the head of an evil main character. I think her problem was with how to make it seem real.

Often, antagonists are portrayed at a distance, and we don’t really know much about them, other than some superfluous idea given by the protagonist or his/her friends. What is the antagonist’s real motivation? Why is he/she doing what he/she does? Why does he/she seem to hate the protagonist? We don’t usually get a very good idea. Seldom does a writer delve deeply into the antagonist’s head to learn his/her motivations.

In my recently finished novel, SWEET REVENGE, I’ve done just that, delved into my antagonist’s head. In this novel, Jeff Marino is the antagonist. He wants the main love interest, Genie Lombardi, to love him back, but she can’t. She’s in love with the main character, Mark Wilkerson. Throughout the novel, Jeff causes extreme grief for Mark, and by association, for Genie as well. But, it doesn’t just stop there, a simple case of jealousy. Jeff has issues. By writing this novel is third-person, we learn through getting into his head what Genie really means to him. We learn he comes from a broken, abusive home on the proverbial wrong side of the tracks. He needs someone like Genie to bolster his self image. He smokes and drinks alcohol to bolster his courage and to unwind from his stresses. Near the end of the book, his only true friend, Bobby Baker, is killed in a tragic automobile accident. They’d both been doing Meth combined with alcohol and Bobby jumps out of the car on the freeway and is hit by an on-coming car. Jeff doesn’t blame himself, or Bobby for what happened, instead, he diverts the blame to nearly everyone else: Genie for going off with Mark Wilkerson, Mark for stealing his chick, Alan Bennaducci for supplying the drugs that killed his best friend.

Through Jeff’s eyes, grief and rationalization become real, especially when he obtains a handgun.

You’ll just have to read the rest of the book to find out how it ends.

Some day I’m considering writing a short story (I doubt I’ll have enough for a novel) in first person about a psychopath who stalks a girl and murders her. I’m not a psychologist so it may be tricky. But to make his motivations realistic will be a challenge.

The point is, if a writer can get into the head of his/her antagonist, I believe he/she can make the story much richer, with deeper meaning and understanding of what makes him/her tick.

Try it.

Am I Lazy?

2008-11-19T15:01:00.003-07:00

I know, this doesn't have much to do with writing, more musings.

No one has ever accused me of being lazy, but I can remember a time as a kid, carrying in groceries from the car, when my dad said I was carrying a lazy man's load. I wondered what he meant by that. He explained that I was carrying in two bags to his one. And because of that, I was being lazy, not wanting to do more work (i.e. trips to the car) than necessary.

Now, that has stuck with me over the years. What exactly makes a person a lazy person?

In high school, my algebra teacher said lazy people make the best algebra students, because algebra has shortcuts to getting to the answer of the math problem. Now, I'm not sure I totally agree, but I can see what she meant. And I loved the short cuts algebra provided, but I still didn't do very well, grade-wise. Math wasn't my best subject. But then again, English wasn't either, LOL (but I loved writing).

Then, when I was learning to play the French horn and the saxophone the band director taught me alternate fingerings to help my technique. Alternate fingerings helped me to change notes more quickly than if I just used the normal fingerings. I guess I was lazy about that too, because I learned the alternate fingerings quickly and became pretty good at them.

So, my question remains, am I lazy? Or! Is being lazy necessarily a bad thing?

You decide and let me know.

Another Who's Lying by Orson Scott Card

2008-10-22T11:56:00.004-06:00

I don't usually post about political things, just moral issues. But this one, I think, can be classified as another moral issue - that of telling the truth even if it hurts.

As many of you may know Orson Scott Card is a Mormon and a card-carrying Democrat. He is also a well-known journalist, as well as a best-selling novelist. I hope everyone will read his article. It's very informative.

http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2008-10-05-1.html

Who's lying?

2008-10-22T08:55:00.004-06:00

I just found this letter regarding California's Proposition 8 on Anne Bradshaw's blog site and thought I'd share it with all my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you).

Dear Friend,
The top issue that has emerged in the Proposition 8 campaign is whether same-sex marriage will be taught in California public schools if the initiative is not enacted. Opponents of Proposition 8 are spending millions of dollars on television commercials telling voters that the Yes on 8 campaign’s claim that gay marriage will be taught in public schools is a lie. Yet a review of public records filed with the First District Court of Appeal in Boston shows these same organizations who claim our statement is a lie fought to make it true in Massachusetts. Specifically, they fought to ensure that gay marriage be taught in Massachusetts public schools, even over the objection of parents who sought an “opt out” for their children. Gay marriage was legalized by Massachusetts courts in 2003.

Further, their assurance that parents can always “opt-out” of such instruction when it is taught is belied by the fact that in Massachusetts, they argued successfully that Massachusetts’ parental opt-out provision should not be permitted.

“These damning public records show that it is in fact the organizations leading and financing the No on 8 campaign who are lying to California voters,” said Yes on 8 campaign manager Frank Schubert. “On one coast of the country they tell judges that gay marriage should be taught to children in school at the youngest possible age. But, on the opposite coast, here in California, they have the audacity to tell voters that gay marriage has nothing to do with public schools.”

Lying…who’s really lying?

The Yes on 8 campaign has been airing television and radio commercials factually presenting what happened in Massachusetts where second graders were taught in class about gay marriage using the book, “King and King.” This book is about a prince who married another prince, and includes an illustrated scene of the two men kissing. In response, the No on 8 campaign has purchased at least $1.25 million in television time to run an ad that says, “They’re using lies to persuade you…[Prop. 8] will not affect teaching in schools. Another lie.” (Source: No on Prop. 8 Ad available at www.noonprop8.com)

In the greatest irony, of course, just two days after the No on 8 “Lies” television commercial began airing, a first grade public school class in San Francisco was taken on a field trip to a lesbian wedding at City Hall, officiated by Mayor Gavin Newsom. School officials said they wished to provide their five and six year old students a “teachable moment.”

It should also be noted that the day after the first Yes on 8 ads began running, the Los Angeles Times reported that "Newsom called the (Yes on 8) ad 'classic distraction' and misleading." Ten days later, he officiated at the above-mentioned and now infamous field trip.

“Not only do the organizations leading the No on 8 campaign want gay marriage, under the guise of ‘diversity,’ taught in public schools, they believe it is important to teach it at the earliest possible age,” Schubert said. Massachusetts begins its “diversity education” to five year old children in kindergarten.

According to legal records on file with the United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit in Boston, Massachusetts in the case Parker v. Hurley (514 F.3d 87 (1st Cir.2008)), some of the very organizations who are funding and driving the No on 8 campaign have argued vociferously that gay marriage should be taught in the public schools under the guise of “diversity,” and any attempt to prohibit such instruction – or to permit parents to opt their children out of it – must be stopped.

The following are statements filed in amicus curiae briefs in Parker v. Hurley. The statements show how organizations leading the No on 8 campaign are lying to California voters when they say gay marriage will not be taught in California public schools.

From the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) Amicus Curiae Brief:

“In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, where the right of same-sex couples to marry is protected under the state constitution, it is particularly important to teach children about families with gay parents.” [p 5]

“Diversity education is most effective when it begins during the students’ formative years. The earlier diversity education occurs, the more likely it is that students will be able to educate their peers, thereby compounding the benefits of this instruction.” [p 3]

(Note: The ADL is a leading member of the No on 8 campaign, and publicly announced they had joined the campaign opposing Proposition 8 on September 9, 2008.)

From the Human Rights Campaign Amicus Curiae Brief:

“There is no constitutional principle grounded in either the First Amendment’s free exercise clause or the right to direct the upbringing of one’s children, which requires defendants to either remove the books now in issue – or to treat them as suspect by imposing an opt-out system.” [pp1-2]

“In short, there can be no serious dispute that the books in issue are both age-appropriate and reflect the growing diversity of American families.” [p 9]

“Lexington’s selection of the [three] books…for inclusion in its curriculum is firmly rooted in the long-recognized tradition of public schools as a place for disseminating the knowledge and information that helps to foster understanding between diverse groups and individuals for the overall benefit of society.” [p 13]

(Note: The Human Rights Campaign has organized one of the largest recipient committees to oppose Proposition 8. The committee, Human Rights Campaign CA Marriage PAC (ID# 1307246) has received more than $2.2 million in contributions (as of 10/8/08), including over $100,000 from the Human Rights Campaign itself in non-monetary contributions. The committee has funneled over $2 million of its funds to No on 8, Equality for All (ID# 1259396), the main No on Proposition 8 campaign committee.)

From the ACLU Amicus Curiae Brief:

“Specifically, the parents in this case do not have a constitutional right to override the professional pedagogical judgment of the school with respect to the inclusion within the curriculum of the age-appropriate children’s book…King and King.” [p 9]

“This court has astutely recognized that a broad right of a parent to opt a child out of a lesson would fatally compromise the ability of a school to provide a meaningful education, a conclusion that holds true regardless of the age of the child or the nature of the belief.” [p 18]

“First, a broad right of a parent to opt a child out of a lesson would subject a school to a staggering administrative burden…Second, in contravention of the axiom that ‘the classroom is peculiarly the ‘marketplace of ideas’’ [citations], a broad right of a parent to opt a child out of a lesson would chill discussion in the classroom…Third, the coming and goings of those children who have been opted out of lessons would be highly disruptive to the learning environment. Moreover, such comings and goings would fatally undermine the lessons that schools teach the other students.” [pp 22-23]

(Note: The Northern California Chapter of the ACLU has also formed a Proposition 8 opposition committee: No on Prop 8, Campaign for Marriage Equality, a project of the ACLU of Northern California (ID# 1308178). This committee has collected $1.6 million in contributions (as of 10/8/08), including more than $70,000 from the ACLU of northern California, as well as $8,000 from the ACLU Foundation. This committee has contributed $1,250,000 to No on 8, Equality for All (ID# 1259396), the main No on Proposition 8 campaign committee.)

These are the facts. This is the truth about the calculated efforts to deliver gay marriage into our public school classrooms, against the wishes of the people of our state. Voters may differ about how they feel about gay marriage, but there is no disputing that the organizations funding and leading the No on Proposition 8 campaign have already revealed, in their own words, their desire to impose this subject on children in the public schools – ‘whether you like it or not.’

To make sure Californians know the truth, we need you to do three things right now:

Forward this email to your friends and family right now, and ask them to forward it to their friends. Every California voter needs to know about this.

Watch the truthful ads the No on 8 campaign doesn't want you to see, and donate to keep them on the air.

Please volunteer today, and we'll put you out in the field talking to voters directly -- as thousands are already doing.

Thank you for all that you do. Please spread the word and make sure your neighbors know the truth before they vote!

Sincerely,

Frank Schubert
Campaign Manager
ProtectMarriage.com - Yes on 8
www.protectmarriage.com

© 2008 ProtectMarriage.com. All Rights Reserved. ProtectMarriage.com is a project of California Renewal (I.D. #1302592) | Contact Us

Life's Experiences in Novel Writing

2008-10-21T15:39:00.002-06:00

Recently I was asked whether it was a good idea to include true life experiences in novel writing. I hope my answer helped. I answered this person with the following:

My novel, Sweet Revenge, is set in high school when I was a senior, way back in 1965. At first I wrote some of the story elements as they really happened. I borrowed ideas of things that happened back then, but as I worked on the manuscript, I altered them, built them up, added suspense, and overall changed them into new ideas of what could have happened, not really what happened. I think the "what could have happened" is far more compelling. You can use your imagination to go wherever you want with your story line. To use a Cliché the sky is the limit.

However, I wouldn't limit yourself to just what happened. Go beyond that to what could have happened.

In my novel, Sweet Revenge I depict a troubled teenage boy, trying to get a nice girl to like him. He does all the wrong things, even to the point of trying to force her to take drugs and threatening to rape her. In the end, this boy, with a couple of his friends, take this girl and one of her friends on a drug- and alcohol-induced joy-ride, where one of the boys is killed and they have to run from the cops. That didn't really happen, not to my knowledge, but it could have. And that's where reality and fiction can come together.

Adding vs. Cutting

2008-10-09T12:08:00.004-06:00

Okay,

Now that I'm back from Nebraska after seeing my new granddaughter (and she's a beauty), I'm going to get back to talking about writing.

My latest idea of how to help Sweet Revenge is that I've decided to keep it in the '60s. But it's not a romance, as some have tried to tell me. It's actually a coming of age novel with a love story embedded. To those of you who remember my earlier versions, it used to have two love stories -- Mark and Genie's and Gary and Kathy's. To get the novel down to a reasonable size (around 70,000 words), I had to cut most of Gary's story and a lot of other stuff including entire chapters, but now, after eliminating the first two chapters, I realized I probably have room to put some of Gary's story back in.

BUT!!! If you think cutting stuff out of your novel is hard, try adding that cut stuff back in after the novel has gone through a few revisions. It's tough!!! A lot of the old stuff I'd cut out doesn't fit any more.

I say tough, but not impossible. I need to revise those cut passages to fit with the revised story line. It will take some time and a lot of patience, but I think it's working, just slowly, especially since I only get a few short hours per week to work on it.

So wish me luck. Eventually it will work.

In the meantime, GERTA! is still simmering on the pot.

Dialog

2008-09-30T08:21:00.002-06:00

A writer friend of mine, Kim Smith, pointed me to an interesting link on how to write effective and realistic dialog. Go to murderby4.blogspot.com and scroll down a bit. I found it very well done.

Welcome Olivia Jane Andreason

2008-09-26T08:58:00.004-06:00

Olivia Jane came into this world on Wednesday, September 24th. She was 6 lbs, 3 oz.

See pictures below.

I can't figure out how to edit the photos, so they're kind of out of order.

First are Andrew Jefferson and Emma Leigh my daughter's two eldest.

Second is My son David with his three boys, Matthew David, Nathan Michael, and their newest Joshua Wyndham.

Third picture is baby Olivia Jane

Fourth is my daughter Rebecca and Olivia

Fifth is baby Joshua Wyndham

Ain't they cute???

Aren't They Adorable??? My Grandkids

2008-09-26T08:37:00.004-06:00

My daughter, Becky's kids, Andrew and Emma Andreason

My son, David and his three boys Matthew, Nathan and baby Joshua

My daughter's new baby, Olivia Andreason

My daughter Becky just minutes after delivery. Doesn't she look fantastic!?

Baby Joshua not long after he entered this world.

Welcome Joshua Wyndham West

2008-09-16T15:30:00.002-06:00

Welcome to this world! Little Joshua was born this afternoon at 1:15 Mountain Standard time. He was 8 lbs and I forgot how many ounces, and 19 inches long. I can't wait to see him!!! I'll post a picture as soon as I get one.

A Milieu Romance?

2008-09-11T10:08:00.004-06:00

Someone recently suggested that my novel, SWEET REVENGE, isn't really a story about revenge as much as it's a milieu romance. It took me some pondering, but eventually I came to the realization that she is right. But rather than calling it a "romance," I think it's more a love story. I think there's a distinct difference. To me, a young adult romance would fall under the "Sweet Valley High" genre. Kind of shallow, kiddish, with lots of jealousy and stuff like that.

SWEET REVENGE is not like that. Yes, there is jealousy, but it's deeper. There's a story beginning with tragedy. It has hatred, jealousy, and yes, revenge in its core. It's a love story between Mark Wilkerson and Genie Lombardi, a lot like Nicholas Sparks' A WALK TO REMEMBER. In the end, the mentally deranged villain creates another tragedy for Mark and Genie.

The milieu aspect comes in because of its setting. I originally chose to set this in the mid-1960s because that's the era I grew up in and could identify with. I've been told that a YA novel set in that time frame could be a tough sell. I could easily translate it to modern day. It would probably take me a couple of months to do that, but I don't want to do that. The Vietnam War is an integral part of the plot. It colors the characters' attitudes and motives.

With all this in mind, I've decided to revise my novel one more time. I'm going to minimize the revenge aspect and play up the love story aspect. Then, with the war as a background, and a new title, I still think it will sell.

THRIPZ

2008-09-03T08:26:00.003-06:00

Hey everyone (all 1 or 2 of you), I just finished a GREAT new novel called THRIPZ, by Robert Farley. It was written by a good friend of mine and I have to admit I had a role in helping Bob write it. I, and other members of our critique group, critiqued every chapter as he wrote it. BUT, and this is the huge BUT, the final version is SOOOO much better than what we saw originally.

It's probably best described as a techno-thriller about a mad terrorist using genetically altered insects, thrips, to destroy the agriculture on the Island of Oahu, Hawaii, but the insects get out of hand and become a threat to human life as well. It starts out with a bang and doesn't let up until the last chapter. Even though I knew what the story was about, Farley's final version still held me glued to the book. It is a real page turner.

My only regret is that Farley didn't find a mainstream publisher for his novel. I truly think he could have sold it and made a lot of money from royalties. Instead, he chose to self-publish it.

If you would like to see more follow this link to Robert Farley's website where he has a trailer and more exciting information about his writing.

Google Alerts - Not for Me

2008-08-28T16:42:00.003-06:00

After only 4 days I've probably gotten nearly 100 alerts from Google Alerts. I signed up for 4 different notifications. But none of them had anything to do with me or my writing, so I've stopped them since they were just cluttering my in-box.

Now, after listening to the critics (for a few years now), I've decided to try and bring Sweet Revenge up to modern day. Everything I hear is that novels set in the '60, unless they're about the Vietnam war or something like that, are a hard sell. So, now I've decided to turn it into a modern day novel and see if that helps.

Wish me luck.

Google Alerts

2008-08-25T10:34:00.003-06:00

I just learned there's such a thing as Google Alerts. Evidently, it's a utility that can alert you whenever a key phrase, such as the title of your book, or your name, is used. I just signed up for three phrases, "Sweet Revenge," "GERTA," and "Paul West - writer."

Fascinating! In the 10 or so minutes I've been signed up I've gotten a whole bunch of responses. People are using my key phrases, but mostly for other things, not because they're discussing me or my work. In short, it's a good way to accumulate trash in your in-basket. I'll keep it up for a few days, but if it seems like it's more trash than help, I'll stop it.

We'll see.

Pet Peeve

2008-08-21T16:06:00.002-06:00

Have any of you (all 1 or 2 of you) ever noticed that many, if not most, agents who accept e-mail queries never respond? To me, that's plain rude. It's like not responding to a very legitimate business offer. Plus, it keeps the writer's hopes up unnecessarily. If an agent doesn't like what he/she sees, what is the problem of just hitting the reply key, instead of the delete key, and type in "not for me," then hit the send key, then they can hit the delete key. It's got to be a whole less work than the old snail mail method of slipping a reject slip into an envelope, licking the seal and sealing it, then carting it off to the mailbox.

Okay, enough for my rant of the day.

What do Mormons believe? I haven't broached this subject for a while.

When Jesus organized his church during his mortal ministry, he had a definite organization that included prophets, apostles, elders, priests, teachers, and deacons. It also included bishops and evangelists (or as we now call them patriarchs). So, what happened to that structure? It was evident from the original 12 Apostles actions that they needed to maintain that number of apostles (12). At first, they chose Barnabus to replace Judas Iscariot who had apostatized and committed suicide. Later, they called Paul to the holy apostleship.

So, again, one might ask, what happened?

With the social pressures, persecution, logistical problems, and general apostasy within the church itself, one-by-one the apostles died off (all except for John the beloved). Ravening wolves entered the church as predicted by Paul, and the keys to the priesthood, held by the 12, were lost. Thus began the so-called "dark ages," or the "great apostasy." It lasted nearly 1800 years and didn't end until God reappeared to a boy named Joseph Smith. Through him, the keys to the priesthood were restored. The authority to organize the church in it's former structure was restored.

More later.

Querying Again

2008-08-14T16:41:00.002-06:00

I just sent out 10 more E-queries yesterday. One was a status query and I got a nice personal note of rejection about an hour later. The other 9 were to new agents. Then, I got one back within a few minutes of sending it out saying SWEET REVENGE was not what he's looking for. Oh, well. So, who is looking for something like SWEET REVENGE? That's the huge question.

Then, this morning, I got two more rejections.

Wish me luck with the remaining 6 queries, plus a ton of others I sent out earlier that the agents haven't responded to yet.

I'll probably need to do more status querying in a few weeks as many of my old queries have been out for nearly 3 months now.

I'm Back

2008-08-12T16:18:00.004-06:00

Did you miss me (all 1 or 2 of you)? I've been to California to see my family and tour San Francisco and lay on the beach at Santa Cruz. It was wonderful. But now I'm back.

I've made some interesting observations regarding asking for critiques of query letters and synopses. I've post mine on several different sites and got some great ideas from members of each. But, I found that no matter how good the query/synopsis is, these people will always find something wrong.

Just a word to the wise. It's up to the author (me in this case) to say "enough." Somewhere along the line, I have to say it's good enough to begin sending it out, or I will never send it out.

So, with that said, I've totally revised my query (again) and have written what I think is a pretty good synopsis, though it's still a tad too long. Most people say it should only be one page, single spaced, or two double spaced. Mine is 2 1/2 pages, double spaced. Not impossible to overcome, but I'm afraid if I cut any more, I'll either lose the story idea, or make the verbiage sound stilted. Anyway, I will keep working on it.

My Latest Query Again

2008-07-17T15:53:00.004-06:00

Okay, so that last one was horrible. I agree. It turned me off too. I got the idea from a well-known agent/author who is trying to sell his books on novel writing by giving away his article on query writing. I followed his advice as closely as possible and you can see the result. It makes me wonder how wonderful his books on novel writing are.

The other day, as I was driving, I got this idea of how to do it. I think it was what you could call inspiration. I pulled over to the side of the road and wrote down everything I was thinking. Then, I came home and worked on it some more, tweaking it and making it more grammatical and readable. I've posted it to several writes forum sites and everyone who commented said, "Wow! A great improvement. Then they gave me some more pointers that I've tried to incorporate. Now, I have what I hope is close to being a final draft that I can start sending out to agents.

If you, my faithful readers, all 1 or 2 of you, have any comments, I'm still open.

Here it is:

------------------------------------------

Dear Agent:

I am seeking representation for my 70,000 word young adult novel, SWEET REVENGE.

Tears flow down Mark Wilkerson’s cheeks as he watches his mom, dad, and baby sister burn in a fiery automobile crash on the Carquinez Bridge, while rocking his injured remaining sister to the tune of local emergency whistles. Set in a small Bay Area town in Northern California during the spring of 1965, Mark vows revenge against the hit-and-run driver who caused the accident.

Mark and his sister move in with his grandmother, in the virtual shadow of the bridge. While dealing with grief, he soon finds himself hated for hoping to get out of the Vietnam War draft so he can continue his studies in college. To make matters worse, he gets caught in a love triangle with the boy who accuses him of draft-dodging. When he finds evidence that links the other boy to the killing of his family, he is filled with rage. Armed with hatred and his need for revenge, Mark heads on a dangerous course that could lead to a tragedy worse than the loss of his family – the murder of an innocent boy.

As an agent who represents young adult literature, I think SWEET REVENGE could be a good fit for you and your agency. It is written in a similar vein as S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders, and That Was Then, This Is Now, while exploring the debilitating psychological effects of grief, jealousy, and hatred, plus the beauty of forgiveness.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

My Latest Query

2008-07-14T16:59:00.002-06:00

They say when writing queries, less is more, so I've pared my query WAY back. Any comments are appreciated.

Thanks,
Paul

-----------------------------------------

Dear agent/Editor:

I am writing to you because you represented/published TITLE by AUTHOR, and I feel my book is similar.

SWEET REVENGE is about a seventeen year old boy who loses his family in a fiery car crash, and vows to get revenge, but in the end comes to realize his vow is leading him to a more serious tragedy – the murder on an innocent boy. Set in a small Bay Area town in Northern California, my novel takes place during the Spring of 1965 when the Vietnam War was threatening to change everyone’s lives. SWEET REVENGE is written in a similar vein as S.E. Hinton’s Pony Boy series, and Sharon Draper’s The Battle of Jerico, and Darkness Before Dawn, among others. I have received an endorsement from AUTHOR'S NAME, best selling author of the young adult novel TITLE.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

The Sleeping Giant

2008-07-02T16:14:00.003-06:00

Aaarrrggghhh! Did I ever tell you I hate query writing? Thank goodness for query critique sites on the web. Here's my latest. Any of you (all 1 or 2 of you) care to comment? If so, please do. Following my query, I've written a bit more about today's so-called energy "crisis," so I hope you'll read on to the end.

Dear Agent:

If only Mark Wilkerson hadn’t made his father angry just before the fiery automobile crash that killed his family, be able to move on, but the grief and guilt he feels for his part in the accident is only exceeded by his need to find the reckless driver who caused it.

Struggling to be accepted in a new small town and school, he meets and falls for Genie, a beautiful, yet not very popular girl in his new school. When she asks him for a dance at the Junior Prom, even while knowing her jealous date, Jeff, is fuming, she puts Mark in danger of Jeff’s vengeance. For moving in on Jeff’s territory and stealing his “chick,” Jeff, with the help of his gang, puts Mark in the hospital. When Mark recovers, he finds evidence that makes him think Jeff could be the driver who killed his family. Now Mark’s need for revenge is heightened by his hatred of Jeff, and drives him blindly toward another tragedy that could prove as disastrous as the loss of his family, the loss of Genie’s life.

Set in the mid-1960s, SWEET REVENGE is a 70,000 word, young adult, coming of age novel that may appeal to adults as well as young adults who enjoy novels by S.E. Hinton as well as Sharon Draper and Ellen Hopkins. Having grown up in the community and era in which this story takes place, I have drawn on reports of drug abuse, suicides, and multi-car pile ups on the Carquinez Bridge to help inspire elements of this story.

I am including the first 5 pages. The completed manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Okay, now back to reality. I've been thinking about what is going to happen to this old world of ours if the cost of fuel keeps escalating. Right now it looks terrible. Liberals don't want us to have the abundant fuel resources we own. Conservatives say, "Drill here, drill now, save money."

Personally, as an environmental professional, I subscribe to the latter. I know we have enough oil and other energy resources under our very feet to keep us going for several decades, if not centuries (if you consider coal, oil shale, etc.). I agree, we need to develop alternative fuel sources, but the technology for that is years, if not decades, away. We aren't ready for that, but the liberals want to force us to do it anyway. Of course, they always want to force people to do things their way.

Isn't that kind of like Communism, or Satan's plan? In the pre-mortal councils in Heaven, before the world was created, God asked for volunteers to be the savior of our souls. Satan piped up first and said, "I'll do it. I'll save everyone by forcing them to obey the commandments. Just give me your glory." He wanted to take away our agency to act for ourselves and be responsible for our own actions. I personally prefer being able to think for myself.

However, Jesus, or Jehovah as he was known at that time, said in effect, "No, man needs to be free to act for himself. So, I will go down and pay for their sins, and the glory be thine forever.

Now, getting back to the energy crisis. The liberals would like for fuel costs to go so high that we won't be able to use our cars. They would like us to go to bicycles and horses and buggies. Al Gore almost said as much in his book (I can't recall the title of it) that the internal combustion engine is the greatest enemy to mankind, or something like that. I know that's not an exact quote, but it conveys his general idea. I've been in lectures given by liberals where they've claimed that the world only has 30 years of fuel left. I guess after that, we're all going to die, or something.

I can't believe that.

When God created this world, do you think he made it so that we would run out of anything we need to live and grow, and even prosper? Certainly not! He provided sufficient resources for our needs and more.

The other day, my son made a comment that got me to thinking. God has a lot of work for us to do yet. We still need to spread the Gospel to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. We're close, but not there yet. To spread the Gospel takes traveling. Traveling takes automobiles, trains, airplanes, ships, and whatever else we've come to use. And that takes fuel. My son said he can't believe fuel will become so costly that we won't be able to travel. The gospel will march forward until it fills the entire earth.

The other day, I was listening to Glenn Beck on his radio program. He made a good point by saying the United States is a sleeping giant. As in World War II, when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, the giant awoke. Once again, I think the people of this nation are just beginning to wake up, but they will, and when it does, when we do, that's when America is at its best. That's when we will solve this energy problem (I hesitate to call a contrived situation as this a crisis). America is the greatest nation on earth. God made it that way for a divine purpose, for the establishment of His church and spreading it over the entire world. He won't let us fail. Have faith.

Querying Again

2008-06-26T08:04:00.002-06:00

Well, I probably ought to get back to talking about my writing career, rather than turn people off with my political views.

I'm back to sending out queries for SWEET REVENGE with my latest updated query letter. Actually, I think it's pretty good -- if I might say so myself. It's patterned after agent Kristen Nelson's "Perfect Pitch" exercises. I’ve sent out several new queries, plus I’ve decided to status-query some agents who haven’t responded after three months. I still haven’t gotten any bites, just a few more rejections, but I have to realize my novel is not like most young adult novels. It’s more involved, not cutesy like a lot of young adult novels. It’s what I call a romantic/suspense. It begins with a tragedy and ends with a tragedy, though happily. In a lot of ways, it might even be considered literary in that it is character driven more than plot driven, and the main character experiences an important change at the end.

One potentially good bit of news, however. I entered SWEET REVENGE in a contest sponsored by a small publishing company and as a result was asked to send in a short synopsis and two chapters. However, it may take this editor some time to respond. She says on her web site that she’s buried in her slush pile, in effect, and won’t be able to respond for a couple of months. So, I will learn patience.

Just so my faithful readers (all 1 or 2 of you) will have a better idea of what my book is about, here’s an abbreviated (I've cut some of the kiss-up language) copy of my latest query letter:

Dear Agent/Editor:

I am seeking representation for my 68,500 word young adult, romantic suspense novel, SWEET REVENGE.

Mark Wilkerson was popular in his old school. He sang, danced, and played several musical instruments, often with his family, until on Christmas Eve, on the fog-bound Carquinez Bridge, he loses his family in a fiery automobile crash. If only the last words they shared hadn't been spoken in anger he might be able to move on, but Mark's depression, guilt, and his need to be accepted in a new town and new school are only overshadowed by his building rage against the unknown driver who caused the accident. At the funeral, he vows revenge, if he ever discovers the driver’s identity.

Mark meets and falls in love with Genie Lombardi. But she has a jealous, low-life boyfriend, Jeff Marino, who vows vengeance of his own. When Mark finds evidence that Jeff might be the driver who caused his family’s accident, his need for revenge leads him toward a new tragedy that could prove even more disastrous than the loss of his family.

In a genre similar to novels by S.E. Hinton, Sharon Draper, and Ellen Hopkins, SWEET REVENGE, is set in a small northern California community during the mid-1960s when the Vietnam War was escalating. Having grown up in the community where this story takes place, I’ve drawn on reports of suicides and multi-car pile ups on the Carquinez Bridge to help inspire elements of this story.

I’m hoping this letter will eventually illicit a positive response. Here's to not holding my breath -- (takes in sharp, deep breath).

Can You Believe ...

2008-06-19T17:37:00.002-06:00

... our politicians in Washington? I'm still shaking my head. After President Bush's great appeal for common sense, you'd have thought someone in the Democrat party would have had a prick of conscience. Oh, no. In the words of Maxene Waters, "We want to socializ... er, uh, uh, er ....." In effect she said, we want to take over the industry and run it ourselves.

Have you ever heard of the federal government running things more efficiently than the private, capitalist, free enterprise sector. The feds don’t have any incentive to be efficient. They only want the profits. They could care less about what it does to you and me - i.e. higher prices, shortages, dependence on foreign, unstable governments for our energy demands.

Personally, I’m darned angry, and I know I’m not alone. I hope my representatives and senators know that. I think they do, but what of those of other states?

------------------

As for my querying, I have gone over the query letter again and with the help of some great on-line friends, I think I’ve made some major improvements. So, yes. I’m sending it out again.

By-the-way, I got a request for a partial (synopsis and first 3 chapters) from a small publishing house. Here’s not holding my breath (takes in sharp breath, hold it and turns blue).

Should I Keep Querying?

2008-06-12T16:45:00.003-06:00

Okay, back to a writing-related post.

I've been pondering the above question for some time now. Actually, I totally intend to keep querying. What I'm really asking is, should I keep querying using the same query letter or revise it - again?

Here's the background. So far, I've sent out 26 queries to agents, via email, using roughly the same query letter, tweaking it slightly at times. So far, I've gotten back 14 rejections, most form letters, but a few seemed like nice personal notes. All were polite, friendly, and encouraging. A couple even asked me to let them see my next project. I'm assuming by that, that they think I can at least write.

So, that leaves 12 unanswered email queries. Some of them are getting close to 3 months old. Most of the responses I have received came within a week.

So, to my question. Should I keep querying, using the same query letter, or consider revising it - again. This last go-round I followed Kristen Nelson's method for "Building the Pitch Paragraph," and think I have a pretty good query letter - not perfect, but I think it's the best I've come up with so far.

What does anyone suggest?

Wanna Know What's Behind High Oil Prices?

2008-06-11T08:21:00.004-06:00

Just as I've been maintaining all along, obstructionists, under the guize of environmentalists are holding this nation, and the world hostage. Listen to an interview with Senator Orrin Hatch at http://real.ksl.com/video/slc/2/239/23997.mp3. He tells it like it really is. Now, all we need is a president with some courage to tell the nation how it really is, but I know Obama won't do it, and I fear McCain won't either. I think the only hope we have is to elect senators and representatives who wills stand up to the so-called environmentalists and say "no!" to their obstructionist activities.

I'm open to address any disagreements.

My Trip to Seattle

2008-06-09T15:33:00.002-06:00

Hi, to all my faithful readers (all 2 or 3 of you).

I recently returned from a trip to Seattle where I attended a wildlife seminar up in the mountains about 45 minutes east of the city. It was beautiful out there, I have to admit, and I really miss being near the ocean. As expected, the weather was cool and it rained on the day of our field trip - who'd of guessed, but overall, I loved being in Washington. It was my first trip there.

On the last day of the seminar, we had this stupid state representative, or senator, or whatever he was, come talk to us about wildlife issues in the State of Washington. Up 'til then, the seminar had gone well and I loved all the talk of how we can help wildlife while improving our highways. However, when this guy started talking he blew me out of my seat, almost literally.

His first stupid idea was that he was for "choice." Being as he said he is a Republican, that already made him suspect in my mind. Can you spell R-I-N-O (Republican In Name Only)?

His second stupid idea is that we need higher gasoline prices. Yes, I said higher prices for gas. He thinks that's a great idea. To be fair, his rationale was that higher prices would stimulate research into alternative energy sources. While that may be true, those cost-efficient alternative energy sources are years if not decades away still. That doesn't help us in our current situation, but only stifles our economy. What we need is to develop the energy sources we already have, such as drill in Anwar, Alaska, develop oil shale, tar sands, drill off-shore, etc. We also need more refineries. We haven't built a new refinery in over 30 years. Can you spell petroleum S-H-O-R-T-A-G-E!

Then, he topped that with his third stupid idea. He said we need to raise taxes!!! That one totally blue me away. Somehow, by raising taxes and stifling economic growth, putting more strain on small as well as large businesses, putting people out of work, etc., will somehow magically materialize into more money in the governmental coffers. Well, just the opposite is true. Milton Freedman demonstrated it in theory that if you reduce taxes, thus stimulate the economy, it will result in more dollars in the governmental coffers. President John Kennedy proved it, President Ronald Reagan proved it, the Republican Congress during Bill Clinton's administration proved it, and our current President Bush proved it. Every time taxes have been lowered, it resulted in more, not less, money in the coffers, and just the opposite has happened whenever taxes have been raised. I just don't understand why politicians don't seem to get it.

Well, about this time, being the mild-mannered superhero, er, person that I am, I simply got up and walked out, not wanting to make a scene. But I was fuming and haven't calmed down yet. Maybe this blog entry will help.

I'm open to discussion.

More E-jections

2008-05-17T20:47:00.002-06:00

Just a quick note. I don't have time for a lengthy post this week.

I sent out 7 new e-queries this week. As of yesterday, I got 3 e-jections s far. That was pretty quick. Makes me wonder how those agents could have possibly evaluated my query, and with some, sample pages and synopsis. I guess they can tell right off if it's something that interests them.

Well, here's hoping the others will prove to be better news, assuming they respond at all.

A Nice Rejection - If there is such a thing.

2008-05-08T16:53:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I received a very nice rejection from an agent, but don't know what to do with her suggestions.

Here's what she said:

Thank you for sending the beginning of SWEET REVENGE and for your patience in waiting to hear back from me. You have an intense story line here, and I can see from your synopsis how the tension escalates throughout the story. However, I must be honest and say that I didn't make a strong enough connection with the story itself to pursue it further. I've found that setting a novel in the recent past, like the 1960s, can make the story a tough sell, unless the 1960s setting is absolutely crucial to the story. I'm not sure how crucial the time period is to your story, but I thought I'd mention it as food for thought.

As some of you know, this novel is set in the mid-1960s and I do mention important events happening at the time, including the Vietnam war -- I have Jeff calling Mark a draft dodger, among other names, etc. Aside from that, I don't know how to make this novel more salable. As you also know, I've considered rewriting it to make it contemporary, but I would have trouble mimicking today's teenage jargon to make it sound realistic, and that would probably mean a total rewrite and I don't have the patience for that much effort, not after several years of working on this version.

So, I'm wondering: should I just keep trying to sell it as a historic novel? Or should I just trash it? I guess I need to sleep on it some.

---------------------------------------------

Now, for my gospel take for this week:

I heard in the news the other day that the Pope has issued a letter to all Bishops that they should not give genealogical information to members of the LDS Church. His reasoning is that we will take that information to our temples and perform baptisms for them.

While that is true, I can't help wondering why he should care? If you believe, as we do, and I'm sure the Pope does also, that the people on the other side are still individuals with free will to think for themselves, they can either accept the work or reject it, just as people here in mortality can do. So, what's the issue here? To my thinking, it's part of Satan's plan to frustrate the work God has given us to do. But, knowing the work is God's work, He will not let a little frustration to stop His work. We will eventually triumph over Satan and the work will be accomplished, with or without the help of Catholic Bishops and Priests.

Basic Guy

2008-05-01T12:15:00.003-06:00

If you haven't read "Basic Guy" lately, I highly recommend it. He makes some great points - not to mention that I know him personally (he's my daughter's father-in-law, but don't tell him I told you that).

Also, for all you writers who read this blog (all 1 or 2 of you), Kristen Nelson has a great workshop on "Building The Pitch Paragraph" in your query letters.

I don't know how many times I've read the advice that proofreading is a lot better with a hard, paper copy than it is on the computer screen. I used to think, sure. Ha, ha. They just don't know what they're talking about. Maybe they don't know how to use the word processor. Like, what 's the dif.? Well, recently I've found out the dif. After all the critiquing I've gotten from my critique group, I began to realize they missed a lot. Not that they're bad writers, or anything like that. Some of the are published writers and I think their critiques are great. But not working from a hard, paper copy, only looking at my chapters on their computer screens, I realized they were missing a lot of stuff that needed fixing. So, I began printing out the chapters one at a time. As I went through them, I found even more stuff that needed fixing than I could see on the computer screen. I made comments and edits with a red pen and found the pages almost literally bleeding red. So, I highly recommend looking at your work on a paper copy before trying to submit it to agents or editors. You'll not be sorry - I promise.

And finally, now that everyone (all 1 of you) has weighed in on the question I posted a few days ago, I'll finally give you the answer to, who was the first person ever baptized?

The answer is -- Adam

He was the first person to have the fullness of the gospel. He held the Holy Priesthood of God. He had all the temple ordinances. In order to have all those things, he had to be baptized.

Okay, a new question that I would like to ask people who are not Latter Day Saints. My sister touched on it in her comment to my last post. The question is:

If Jesus said everyone MUST accept Him in order to be saved, what will happen to all the billions of people who never heard of Him? Does that automatically condemn them to hell?

Boston Marathon - Results

2008-04-29T15:51:00.003-06:00

3 hours, 1 minute.

That's how fast my son ran the Boston Marathon. His goal was to get under 3 hours, so he's disappointed in his effort. I say he did wonderful. He came in 1336 out of nearly 25,000 runners. Not bad in my mind. When it comes to running, and all the nutrition and exercise that goes into it, I think he's amazing. His mother and I are rightly proud of him.

Now, to answer the question I posed just before we left for Boston. Who was the first person EVER to be baptized? My sister tried a guess, and it was a pretty good one. She guessed John the Baptist. However, that's not it. Where did John the Baptist get the idea for performing baptisms? And, another thing to consider, Jesus said, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born again. Born of the water and the spirit. So, does that mean just those who lived at the time of Christ and since, and have been baptized can enter? Or does it mean what he said, NO ONE can enter without baptism?

What about all those who have never heard of Jesus?

What about all those who lived before Jesus lived?

Instead of giving the answer, I think I'll post this question again and see if all my faithful followers (all one or two of you) can think of the answer with all the clues I just provided.

Going to Boston

2008-04-17T12:32:00.004-06:00

My wife, son, and I are going back to Boston next week to see our son run the marathon. We're also going to visit a bunch of her relatives, and I do mean a bunch! Being Italian, she has close 2nd and 3rd cousins, aunts and uncles, and great aunts and great uncles - well not really, but you get the idea.

I'll be back the following week, so if anyone has any comments or needs me to get back to them, I will do so as soon as I return.

By the way, just to leave you with something. I just found another link that I think is great!!! It's how not to avoid making mistakes when writing and querying. Check it out.

http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2008/04/make-more-mistakes-not-fewer.html

Now, for my gospel question of the week:

When was baptism first instituted and who was the first person ever to be baptized? Yes, he is mentioned in the Bible.

More Sound Advice-

2008-04-15T15:15:00.001-06:00

Here's another link to some great writing advice. Check this one out too.

http://ldspublisher.blogspot.com/2008/04/storymakers-tim-travaglini-putnam_15.html

Sound Advice

2008-04-14T11:05:00.004-06:00

I was surfing through my writer book marks and found an interesting article on the BookEnds agency blog. I thought my fellow writers, and wannabe writers might find it interesting. Go check it out.

Book Ends Literary Agency Blogspot

I've Been Tagged - HELP!

2008-04-10T12:49:00.002-06:00

I guess Candace is the only one who’s going to respond to my last week’s question. That’s okay. I know religion is difficult for some to discuss calmly.

Candace has it right, however. Jesus does have a body of flesh and bones. Recall how He said to his disciples after His resurrection, “a spirit hath not flesh and bone as ye see me have” (again, I have to apologize that I don’t have my scriptures in front of me to give you the proper citation).

Joseph Smith confirmed that when praying in the Sacred Grove near his homestead, two glorious beings appeared to him, one pointing to the other, “This is my beloved son. Hear him.” Joseph saw the Father and the Son. They both had tangible bodies of flesh and bone, and we will too when we are resurrected someday.

Thank you Candace.

----------------------------------------------------

Okay, now for the fun stuff. I started writing this part earlier this morning, but a computer glitch wiped out my file. So here goes again.

G. Parker, I think her name is Gaynell, tagged me last week, and now I need to tag some other people. I hope they haven’t been tagged, already, but here’s my list:

1. Basic Guy - I know his name, but not sure he want’s it known, but he’s written a novel too.
2. Ann Bradshaw - I read her YA novel some time ago - can’t recall the name, but it was fun.
3. Bhaswati - she’s a writer living in India. You should see some of the art on her blog site
4. Candice E. Selima
5. Rebecca Talley
6. Tristi Pinkston - I just finished reading her first novel NOTHING TO REGRET (excellent I might add).
7. Cherie Chassaing - she’s my baby sister. She’s trying to sell real estate in Penn Valley, California.

All of their tags are listed on my sidebar.

If you are part of the above, and haven’t been tagged yet, then you need to follow up and tag 7 others.

Here’s the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now, to say something about myself no one ever knew (well I think my sister knows a lot of this):

1) Even though I’ve lived most of my life in Utah, I still consider myself a “prune-picker.” If you don’t know what that means, it’s a person born and raised in California. I was born in Oakland, and raised in a small bay area town called Port Costa. When I was a kid, Port Costa was a fun, kind of Huckle Berry Finn kind of place to grow up. We had a railroad yard, with a round house and railroad shanties where I’d spend a lot of time watching the steam and diesel switch engines push and pull cars around the yard. There were hills with eucalyptus and buckeye trees where it was rumored Black Bart had hidden his treasures. We also had this huge blackberry patch behind some of the houses in town where I used to pick buckets full and my grandmother would make the best blackberry cobbler in the world.

2) My mother attempted to teach me to play the piano, but I could never get past the one hand at a time part. I still can’t coordinate like that. I can type up to 60 words per minute, but that only requires one hand at a time, if you think about it.

3) I attended high school in Crockett, since Port Costa isn’t big enough. I made a lot of good friends there that I haven’t seen since graduation, and I miss. When I got there, I signed up for band. I figured I could play a wind instrument and still make good music but without having to use both hands at the same time. Mr. Wigell, our band director, started me out on the French horn. I grew to love it and played it through my junior college days, where I was first chair in the Diablo Valley College orchestra. I also played the trumpet and saxophone, because really, can you see someone carrying a (at that time) $2,000 instrument around on the football field during marching band or pep rallies?

4) I began writing when I was in highschool. Even though I didn’t get the best grades in English, my teacher saw some kind of a raw talent in me and encouraged me to write. One of my professors in college did the same, but it wasn’t until around 1986 that I seriously started writing fiction. My novel, now called SWEET REVENGE, has gone through tons of revisions since then, and is almost finished, looking nothing like the original story. I’ve also begun a mid-grade novel title GERTA!!! (capitalization and exclamation points are intended as part of the title).

5) I served in the U.S. Air Force during the Vietnam war. I was fortunate, however, that I was assigned to serve 3 years in Germany. I loved it there, and toured most of Europe. My wife and I hope to tour there next year.

6) My wife, Brenda, is from Rhode Island. We met at BYU (Brigham Young University) and were married in the Oakland Temple in 1975 (does that date me?). She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me – the love of my life.

7) We have four of the most wonderful kids anyone could hope for, and so far, two of them have given us four (soon to be six) of the most wonderful grandchildren ever.

Okay, that’s probably enough. Now, I just gotta notify everyone.

Querying Again

2008-04-01T16:50:00.003-06:00

I've begun again, sending out those devil queries for SWEET REVENGE. I hate writing them. I suck at it, actually. But, thanks to many fellow writer friends, I think my latest version of my query isn't too bad. So, I've sent it out to about 10 agents so far and I'm going to wait to see how they respond to this version before revising it again and sending to 10 more agents.

Here's hoping this one works. I really think my novel is top notch. While I've been classifying it as young adult, I think it's kind of literary as well. I say that, because it's totally character driven, not plot driven. Not to say it doesn't have a plot. It does, and it's a well developed plot, but the characters are the main focus. Will Mark get his revenge on the person who killed his family? Will Jeff get revenge on Mark for stealing his girl? And what about the two main girls, Charisse and Genie? Who will win Mark, or is he worth the fight? And what about Jeff? What kinds of wicked plans can he devise?

I'm hoping when it sells, it will sell big.

Now, to change the subject. I've run out of "What do Mormons Believe" statements. Over the past several weeks, I've quoted all 13 Articles of Faith. So now, I have a question for those of you who would like to know more about what Mormons believe:

Many Christian religions believe God is a spirit. Right? They quote a scripture in the New Testament that I can't recall right now because I don't have my scriptures with me at the moment that says in effect, "God is a spirit and we must worship him in spirit." I probably didn't quote that correctly, it's just from memory. Regardless, my question is, if God is a spirit, what happened to His body? Wasn't Jesus resurrected? When He visited His apostles following the resurrection, didn't He say to them to handle Him and feel Him? Didn't He say that a spirit doesn't have a body of flesh and bone as He had? If He is a spirit now, what happened to His body? Did He die again?

I'd like to get people's answers to that question before I weigh in on the subject.

Global Warming

2008-03-24T17:03:00.006-06:00

What do Mormons Believe:

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Articles of Faith
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

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There's been a lot of interest, pro and con, lately about global warming. As some of you know, I'm an environmental biologist. So, I've studied, well, read up on the subject of global warming, and have definitely come to an opinion. Note that it's an opinion, not a scientific fact. As far as I can tell, the science about this matter is still out.

Have you read Michael Crichton's book "State of Fear?" It’s a great novel. He did a lot of research and I think he put it right. Global warming may (note the operative "may") be happening, but it's not being caused by us puny humans.

Take for example the changing ocean currents. They are what influence the weather around the globe. So, what's been happening? Well, how about underwater volcanoes? Seismologists have detected more underwater volcanoes in the past several years than ever before. What happens when they erupt? Hot water. This hot water changes the ocean currents and warms the air, and “warms” the globe.

But! And I think this is interesting. Parts of the world are actually cooling. Hmm! Why is that? Well, if you look at the Antarctic ice shelf, part of it is melting, just as the global warming crowd claims. But on the far side of the continent, the ice is getting thicker. Horrors! How can that be happening? It’s called changing ocean currents caused by the underwater volcanoes.

It is my opinion, since the science is still out, that so-called global warming, if truly happening, is being caused by underwater volcanoes, not our puny efforts to pollute the atmosphere with our exhaust emissions.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of clean air. But I don’t think we need to put our industry and out transportation systems out of business to accomplish that.